An Iranian family waits for war

Sahar Ravi

Sahar Ravi is an Iranian architect based in Istanbul. She left Tehran five years ago when she and her husband found jobs in Turkey. Her name and others in this post have been changed for their protection.

Last week, my friend answered the door to my Istanbul home after hearing an unexpected knock. My eyes lit up.

Sahar’s sister Zohra, who lives in Tehran, tells On Spec that she’s afraid for her children’s future with the U.S.’ ongoing threats of war against Iran. She’s visiting Sahar in Istanbul.

My mother Negin and sister Zohra had flown from Tehran to Istanbul to surprise me for my 39th birthday. We hadn’t seen each other for months while I worried about my family in Iran during the latest protests, and now a threat of war with the United States has thrown our lives into a tailspin. In Turkey, together, we could turn to each other for support.

Tensions escalated between Iran and the U.S. after President Trump ordered a strike that killed Iran’s revered general Qassem Soleimani in Iraq January 3. Since then, Iran struck two air bases housing American troops in northern Iraq while Trump said he would strike Iranian cultural sites. Meanwhile, since Trump tightened economic sanctions against Iran, deepening its economic crisis, Iranians have been coming in greater numbers to Turkey. When Iran raised petrol prices in November, citizens protested across the country. The hardline government quelled the uprising by killing and arresting protestors, but they also raised a few dollars given to the poor monthly. The Islamic Republic cut off the Internet, which is what we Iranians use most often to stay in touch with our families.

Tehran has many hip cafes, and this is one that Sahar’s family goes to often in better times. Sahar says the swing seats represent their ups and downs in life. (credit: Atoosa)

I had to call through the phone using calling cards to talk to my mom in Tehran. She was giving me daily updates, telling me how she made food for the protestors, young men and women fed up with unemployment, insecurity and their lack of freedom. She’s 70, has seen it all, and I have watched her resilience through the Iranian Revolution, subsequent upheavals and the latest unrest. She has taught us to ride through the waves of violence and focus on our blessings. My sister Zohra owns a hair salon and she and I have lived through the bombs of the Iran-Iraq war in 1980s. We’re familiar with turbulence. Our generation was there to stick it out and fight for freedom, we had a sense of hope and purpose. But the generation after us is facing a more repressive government and a hostile global environment unwelcoming to refugees. They feel doomed.

Zohra’s daughter Atoosa, 18, says she doesn’t have a bright future as a young woman in Iran. (self portrait)

Some of them even say to the U.S., “Drop the bombs. It can’t get any worse.”

After a short celebration of my birthday, we spent the next few days in a frenzy of sadness as the news from Iran kept coming. On Wednesday, a plane headed to Ukraine crashed just outside Tehran. No one survived. Nassim and Amir Hossain, two of the passengers, were a couple I knew well. I was devastated and couldn’t stop the tears as friends shared photos and condolences. It’s possible that Iran shot the plane down by mistake. Before that, friends who had long cursed General Soleimani as a traitor for wreaking havoc on Iranians were at his funeral praising him as a martyr. The diehard protestors are quiet now. Not much seems to make sense. Having an ideology or a belief in freedom, something we’ve been fighting for so long, has become a losing battle. Some friends are taking out their money from the banks and buying gold or U.S. dollars so they can have something to get out of the country..

Since my mom and sister arrived, we spend our mornings in Istanbul reading the headlines from Iran before breakfast. We call my brothers to make sure they are okay. No one comments on how delicious the food I cooked is, like they usually do. Our conversations are dim and urgent, focused on the basics of survival in Iran. My sister wants to go back as soon as possible to see her kids, but I’m trying to convince both her and my mom to stay longer in Istanbul. At least like this I can have them next to me, not far away in a homeland waiting for war.

But they are going to return. And I will watch from afar as a restless exile.

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