Something to do with loneliness
Author: Jason Huang, a sophomore majoring in Physics in NTHU
Things just happened so quickly that you barely had a chance to prepare, or even to look back. You feel like that everyone doesn’t care about you that much. You miss the early times when your BFF was beside you, but maybe you have no reason to knock on each others’ doors now. You are overwhelmed with the emotion, LONELINESS, which may make you think: “Oh, no. I am lacking in friends. What a shame!”
But, I must tell you: It’s definitely wrong, even far from the truth.
Hey, Loneliness, who are you?
Loneliness is just like a pool of deep water. When you somehow fall into it, you’ll panic and get drowned in no time. But if you know what the situation you’re in and respond to it quickly, it can be a piece of cake when you deal with your personal emotion.
So, the first thing to do is get to know who loneliness is.
Loneliness comes to find us since ancient times, and it helps us by making us desiring for bonding with other people. People who tend to be together with others have a better probabilities to survive, especially in ancient times. If you were forgotten by others, nobody would care about your food, water or any resources, not to mention how you could cooperate with others to hunt for a meal.
Therefore, according to Darwin’s theory of evolution, the people without a sense of loneliness in ancient times could die very soon because they would find difficulties in adapting themselves to the quick-changing climates and cruel environment.
Now, we’ve already come to know that loneliness simply comes to help. Loneliness should be our friend but enemy, and lots unnecessary pains are actually preventable by your realizing this point. It’s an instinct that belongs to everyone, and there is no shame.
Why does loneliness come to me?
To be honest, I have no precise answer to it. It may comes after you just broke up with your partner. Or maybe, it’s because you just started your college life and you have to leave from your hometown hundreds of miles away. Or maybe your friends forgot to call on you when they planned to have a meal together. No matter what the cause is, even without any reasons, loneliness may still come to find you.
Thus, it’s pretty good to know why you feel lonesome so that you may feel more calm, but it’s also quite okay for not knowing the reasons. It’s not the point. The point is that your loneliness just wants to help, as what I just mentioned above.
What can I do to embrace loneliness peacefully?
#To admit the existence of loneliness
Realizing that you are in a pool of loneliness is vital since knowing the situation helps you react to it properly. Some people may feel insecure, for they think this is about their dignity and is against the roles they play in life. But it’s not a sin. It just happens to everyone. And admitting it can be a relief to whom is under their self-suppression.
#To talk with the people you trust and close to you
It can be difficult for some people. Especially in the western countries, showing one’s pain or negative emotion to others and relying on others can symbolize immaturity, which I think is terribly ridiculous.
A mature person should be familiar with their emotions, how to get along with others and himself/herself. And such suppression preventing people from conveying their feelings is just too much. To become a mature person, it’s also significant to speak out how you feel and let your close ones know that you need them. Just ask your family or one friend of yours out for a meal. Believe me. It helps you evolve.
That is the way to manage your emotions.
#Get a cushion or hug your comforter
When you feel lonely, you will be in need of some physical touches from others. But for most cases, we can’t ask others to do so. Therefore, a cushion or a sheet of comforter can be your next choice. It makes you calm and secure while you are experiencing a period of strong loneliness.
#Sing or listen to music, or dance, or compose some poems, songs
By doing so, you can easily sort out your feelings and get to know what situation you are in. This makes you calm. And try to convey the emotions from the bottom of your heart by singing songs if you feel like that there’s nobody knowing how you feel. You can somehow find yourself identify with the song writers.
#Let it be
You have to realize that you cannot control whether you feel lonely, so you cannot expect loneliness will disappear even you did the things above-mentioned. These are just to ease your discomfort and make yourself calm without offending or bothering others too far. So, be patient and wait, since loneliness won’t stay here forever.
To sum up
There are mountains of obstacles in our lives to conquer, and every time we get over one, we become more mature a little bit. One of them is getting along with yourself. Loneliness is a required course to take for every human throughout a whole life, so…yup, you are not alone. Get to befriend loneliness, and then peace and happiness will naturely come to you.
Here are some pieces of advice to take, and if you have other thoughts to do with loneliness, feel free to tell me by commenting below.
