Where Is The Off Switch For My Brain?
Day 17 — What is my favorite quote and why does it inspire me?
“The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind.”
― Terry Pratchett, Wintersmith
People suggested meditation when I was going through therapy and looking to do more around my self-care. So I looked some up online, played it, lay down, closed my eyes then, BAM! My mind lit up like a Christmas tree. Everything I had been working through was right there. Each intrusive thought tripped over the next until I thought my head would explode with the noise.
I felt stupid. How could I not do something as easy as laying still? People around me would ask how I was enjoying meditation, so I lied; how could I admit the truth? Then I realised I had always had an issue with being still. As soon as I wasn’t busy unhelpful thoughts would swirl. It turns out it was part of a more significant issue with nightmares.
Many people with trauma have an issue with stillness or closing their eyes for sleep. The problem was that the unresolved trauma I was denying would creep in when my defenses were down, and my unconscious self took over. They would play in my brain like a movie forcing me to acknowledge their existence and admit I needed…
