An Open Letter To My Friend Who Doesn’t Use His Real Name.

Be The Robert I Know You To Be.

I can’t prove it, but this guy’s name is probably Rob. Image via Canva Pro

Hey, Robert. This is an intervention and frankly, it’s a long time coming. Ever since you started calling yourself Rob you’ve needed this talk.

You’ve had a funny history with names, haven’t you? No wonder you’re so turned around. It’s time for an intervention.

As a child, your parents nicknamed you Robbie. Later, people called you Bobby. From there, you can get Rob, Bob, and all other kinds of names that aren’t truly yours. I’m reasonably sure you’ve used these variations over the years.

No wonder you’re confused. Robert is one of those infuriating names with multiple variations. It’s kind of like Richard except without all the Dick jokes.

But It’s Your Real Name

How do I know Robert to be your one, true name? It’s on great authority. You told me so.

Let me refresh your memory. Remember this conversation?

Hi, I’m Scott. — Scott.

I’m Robert. — Robert.

See? If you don’t believe me, believe yourself.