An Open Letter to My Friend’s Ex
You deserve to be thrown off a balcony.
HEY YOU!
Yeah, YOU. I’m talking to you, Mr. Puffed-Up Ego Pants.
You have absolutely no business breaking my friend’s heart like that. Who the hell do you think you are?
First off, you wear sunglasses indoors and reek of weed all the time. You permanently carry a joint around like it’s an extra appendage.
I don’t know what she saw in you to begin with, but I’m always supportive of my friends putting themselves out there. It takes courage to put your heart out on the Internet and hope that someone will cherish it.
But it’s assholes like you who make dating in 2023 suck.
So what if you made her dinner on Valentine’s Day once two years ago? If that’s an accomplishment that you continue to lord over her head, that’s a pretty sad sack of a dating resume you have on your hands.
It’s comparable to that sad sack between your legs, which I have heard plenty about, unfortunately for you.
Then you go out and sleep with her coworker?? You may not have much common sense in that airhead of yours, but one thing you have plenty of is the AUDACITY.
