An Open Letter to my Used-To-Be-White-But-Now-Are-Brown Shoes
Dear Shoes,
We made it over a year together, that is a long-term relationship if you ask me. Through thick and thin, mud and grass, we stuck together (until I took you off). Lately, I’ve been thinking that we need to go our separate ways. No don’t cry— you’re already a mess, and you’re making one on the carpet that I’m going to have to vacuum up later.
It’s not you, it’s me… okay maybe it is you. I know it’s not your fault that you muddied up our relationship. The mud was there, and you were between me and it. I’d clean you up, and pick you up when you were down (and I didn’t want to get dirt on the floor), but you never did the same for me. I invested a lot of care in you, and it’s just time for us to move on. I’m ready to fall in love with a fresh pair of kicks.
In your prime you were stunning. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you, no one could. We were complimented like crazy, well I guess I was complimented like crazy. Every other day it was “Zoë, I love your shoes. Where did you get them?” Now we don’t hear that anymore, and we haven’t for a long time. It’s normal for us all to age and change. Now that you’re older, maybe you should be with an older woman, or just live out the remainder of your life alone (whatever you want, I support you!).
I’m very much a one-shoe person. I don’t sleep around. I wear the same shoes until they fall apart. I’m loyal. I’m not a cheater. It’s you only. I won’t wear a new pair unless we break up, and I throw you in the dumpster. Now, the time has come for you. I’m sorry. I feel that you helped me (and my feet), grow into a better person. I hope you can say I’ve done the same for you.
Your Faithful (Previous) Owner,
Zoë Kuehn
