An Open Letter to Tattoo(ers)
The unblemished silent majority speaks
‘Sup Inkers,
Let’s get one thing straight: this isn’t a letter putting down people who’ve chosen to get tattoos. Rather, it’s a diatribe against bad tattoo decisions.
I’m keeping the owners of said objets d’art anonymous. The tattoos themselves will not be outed, either — unless it’s a cat.
Any resemblance to persons living, dead, or half-dead is purely coincidental.
The Penis Tattoo
Where to start? Let’s begin by introducing the hero in The Tale of Tell-Tale Penis Tattoo. His name is Larry and he’s about 32.
Larry works as a high school teacher. I won’t get into what subject. I also can’t identify what the actual tattoo is.
In truth, I wish I didn’t know.
How do I know Larry has a penis tattoo? Because Larry and my friend Zack were down at the health food store one day when Larry started to brag about his pecker tat.
Then he whipped it out, right there in the store.
Is Larry a sexual predator who maybe shouldn’t be teaching children? I dunno. We have a teacher shortage, and the guy IS very likable.
