OPEN LETTERS
An Open Letter To The Guy Hawking Spirituality Seminars on YouTube
I Hate You
Dear Spirituality “Guru”.
Look, man. You ruined my life. Somehow my wife stumbled across your channel when she was looking for cat videos to annoy me with. I guess she subscribed because the next thing I know all she’s talking about is the things you say and do.
I miss my quiet, Guru. We’ve been married long enough that we didn’t have anything new to say to each other. I liked it that way. I’d come home from work, one of us would cook, then we’d watch tv. I never had to say a damn word besides “pass the salt.” Or goodnight.
The quiet was blissful. Sure I wish we had more sex but hell, the wife always says that she needs to be connected for sex to work. It’s not just physical for me, husband. Why don’t we talk anymore? Once a month ain’t a lot, but it’s a small price to pay for a good life.
Well after watching you blather on, the wife started getting ideas. No more silent nights. No more Jeopardy. No, she wanted to talk about manifesting a better relationship and bringing crap into being. I don’t know what any of that means. I tried listening for a while but she wouldn’t stop. So I left the kitchen.
