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THANKSGIVING SATIRE

If We Had Fewer Turkeys in This Country, We’d All Have a Lot More to Be Thankful For

An open tale about American U.S. Grade A turkeys

Sarah Courtney Burry
Open Letters To
Published in
4 min readNov 25, 2021

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Two women saddle up to the entrance of a U.S. Grade A turkey farm. It’s almost American Thanksgiving and they are here to choose a turkey.

The farmer comes out to greet them and takes them around back so they can get a look at all the turkeys on offer.

“Wow-you really have a full house,” says Mabel. She is the older of the two women.

“That’s right,” retorts farmer Brown, “We’ve got a range of turkeys from all over the country here.”

“That’s amazing,” pipes up Sally. “But how are we going to choose? I’ve never seen so many turkeys up close before.”

The farmer crosses his arms and surveys his lot. “Don’t worry ladies. I’m here to help.”

Mabel points to a turkey way off on the left side of the field. The turkey is running around whipping the other turkeys around her into a frenzy.

“Who’s that turkey?” asks Mabel.

“Oh, that one, we call Nancy,” replies the farmer. “She is a wily one and has been around forever. Came to us from California.”

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Open Letters To
Open Letters To

Published in Open Letters To

Open Letters are sent to the world and beyond. Here we say what must be said, whether it is harsh, humorous, or even a teensy bit passive aggressive. Share your open letters with the world, the meta-physical, or your micro-managing boss.

Sarah Courtney Burry
Sarah Courtney Burry

Written by Sarah Courtney Burry

5X top writer. I love to use satire and humor. I write about travel, politics, family, feminism, sports, health & music. So, basically everything.

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