OPEN LETTERS
An Open Letter to Winter
Shoo, witch. Shoo!
Dear Mistress of all That is Unholy,
Whoops, I meant Winter. I am done with you. I know you have only been here for merely a couple of weeks, but there is already snow and wind and frost and the streets are slippery and ugly and I just need you to go. Please and thanks.
Don’t make this any more difficult than it needs to be. Yes, we can argue that seasons are a necessary evil and that we wouldn’t get the rainbow without rain and etc. Nevertheless, I need you to go. I promise to keep you in my thoughts and prayers whilst I appreciate the warm summer days even without suffering the misery of winter frost.
Perhaps you can hop on over to Africa or Latin America. I am certain they would love you over there! You would give them a bit of a break from all that heat. I also hear Dubai is wonderful this time of year. Think about it! Just say the word and I’ll pack your bags for you. Although, you won’t need much luggage.
Let me tell you how this would benefit you, too. First of all, you would go someplace where you would be appreciated for once in your life. It’s true that there are people who can’t get enough of you, but you are generally not popular. Also, you are old news here in the Balkans. Everyone knows you already. Now, if you move to the tropics you would become the hot new girl on the first day of High school. Imagine that! You’ll be the talk of the place, I just know it! Who wouldn’t want that?!
Secondly, don’t you want you some change? Aren’t you tired of being cold and bitter? Why do you insist upon being the ‘Ice Queen’ year after year? It surely must’ve gotten old by now. You are not Elsa, Ms. Winter! Disney copyrighted and trademarked her in 2013. Try to keep up. Anyway, you need to switch it up soon for the betterment of everyone involved. You can continue being your grumpy old Grinch self somewhere else and also allow that ice cold heart to melt a little as you lie on a faraway beach by the ocean as the sweet sound of music caresses your being. Now, doesn’t that sound appealing? I know it does.
Lastly, we can go back and forth and bicker about the aforementioned issues to the point of insanity, or we can civilly go our opposite ways and continue living our best lives. I believe that is in both our best interest, don’t you think?
I will gladly send over a few references, recommendations and even book a ticket for you. Please let me know once you settle on a decision.
Sincerely,
Ana, the eternal summer child
