OPEN LETTER
Open Letter to Bigelow Tea Company
I wish to register a complaint
Dear Bigelow Tea Company,
I am writing to express my extreme distaste for Pomegranate Blueberry Herb Plus Omega 3 tea. Something as simple as tea, which usually brings peace and harmony, has left me mortified, humiliated, and ashamed.
After all, I am what one would call a connoisseur of the leaf. Now, alas, my reputation has been marred, owing to your splendidly deceitful packaging of Pomegranate Blueberry Herb Plus Omega 3.
May I now be considered the common sewer of the tea establishment here in regal South Jersey?
It was Easter. After a delectable meal of the finest quality of mutton and chops and potatoes and mushy peas, I served my holiday guests your bouquet blend of broken-hearted bandits in the finest china. I used a fresh, rolling boil from my electric kettle, imported exclusively from the British Isles, where I discovered the glories of tea and rolling boils as an undergraduate at University in the North of England.
My dinner guests generally assume, as custom, the quality of my tea to be of a choice curation. Was it your fault, kind sirs, or madam, or mz, as the case and pronoun may or may not be, that I ran out of my Yorkshire Gold Blend from Ireland…
