And Now For A Speech From Your Terrible Maid Of Honour

Gena-mour Barrett
Open Mic
Published in
3 min readNov 21, 2018

Written by Gena-mour Barrett & Hattie Soykan — November 21st, 2018

Good evening, everyone.

As you all know, we are here today to celebrate a very special occasion — our beloved Megan and Mike’s engagement.

Megan kindly chose me to be her maid of honour, and we — we being me and my boyfriend — are really grateful to be here among some of her most treasured friends and family. I couldn’t help but notice that there are some unfamiliar faces in the crowd tonight, so let me just introduce myself:

My name is Becca and that handsome guy at the bar in the blue shirt is my boyfriend, Pete. Hey, babe.

I’ve known Megan and Mike for a long time now. In fact, I’m the one who introduced them, so I guess you could say I’m the reason we’re all here today, haha!

But it wasn’t just me who brought them together, it was also my boyfriend, Pete, who works with Mike. In fact, we were just reminiscing on the journey here about watching sparks fly between them at our first annual barbecue. Guess we’re both matchmakers, huh babe? Ha, so sweet.

Anyway, Megan has been a dear friend of mine since childhood and I think we can both agree that we always dreamed of this day. We used to spend many sleepovers talking about our first boyfriends and the day we’d finally get engaged, and even though I technically got my boyfriend six months before Megan, I told her — never give up! You’ll find your Prince Charming!

And find him she did… six months after me. It truly is the most beautiful fairytale.

Megan and I have shared many memories over the years. I once watched as she peed herself in front of her crush in Year 8, a story I relayed to my boyfriend on our first double date with the couple of the night, much to Megan’s horror.

Now it makes me so happy that I get to watch Megan tie the knot with a man who I can only assume hasn’t seen her pee, although Pete can’t say the same about me. Magaluf 2010, am I right, babe? That’s an inside joke… he gets it.

To end, I wanted to share with you all one of my favourite quotes, which incidentally my boyfriend, Pete, said to me on the night of our fifth date — “if you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t, they never were”.

I know that unlike me and Pete, Megan and Mike have had their ups and downs, and no one is happier than me that you bounced back from that time Megan slept with the guy from IT.

Cheers to the happy couple!! I love you, Pete!!

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Gena-mour Barrett
Open Mic

Attitude in direct correlation with my lip colour. Tweet me praise @SmileGena