how to be happy

breathe a lot.
i’ve noticed people who breathe are a lot happier than people who don’t.
don’t pay attention. people who pay the least amount of attention have the least amount of worries.
smile all the time. that’s kind of like being happy.
tell everyone you’re okay when they ask why you’re crying.
ask them how they are doing to change the subject.

try not to cry.

don’t read any books. they inspire envy.
don’t think about unfortunate people. and when you do, just give something you can spare until you feel better.
don’t brush your teeth some nights. sleep on the other side of the bed some nights. have an extra glass of orange juice, on me. it’s okay to live a little sometimes.
read the newspaper or watch the news. sometimes you have to know the facts.
buy some jogging pants in case you need to impress someone.

don’t focus on anything, just in case you see something you won’t like.
don’t try too hard at anything, just in case you fail.

on second thought, try not to breathe as much.
i’ve noticed people who don’t breathe are a lot happier than people who do.