Don’t let the responsibility crush you
A few thoughts and learnings from one of OpenUp’s technical leads, JD Bothma, as he reflects on a year of change and sometimes, letting go
A lot has changed in the last year for the team at OpenUp. This year, we look, think and work differently than before. Our approach has shifted and in choosing to do so, our processes had to be adapted.
I’ve gone from being a back-end developer with a manager to being responsible for the technology side of several projects and it’s felt — at times — traumatic and scary. This is the story of how I learnt not to let the responsibility crush me, how to manage my time, make the right judgement calls and encourage our culture of openness by sharing more about my mental health with colleagues.
Here are a few of the things I’ve managed to take away from the process. While these are not definitive solutions to the problems we’ve experienced in any way, they have worked for me and the organisation.
1. Work on a task basis as opposed to a time basis.
Right now, we have a small core team and contract out a lot of the work (more about that later), which means that we have to think about what can be outsourced and what needs to be done internally. If we let a contractor loose on a job without clearly specifying what we want to get from it, we can quickly rack up a lot of cost in iterations figuring out what we want from it. Instead, we specify jobs of fixed cost where we define the scope well enough for everyone to feel comfortable with the agreement. It forces us to define upfront what we want to get out of it. The same is true for when we work internally, but outsourcing puts a giant spotlight on how much money is wasted when one doesn’t think about the desired output upfront.
2. Outsourcing is more feasible than you’d think.
If we don’t know exactly how something should be specified, or if it’s even possible, it doesn’t necessarily mean we can’t get someone else to do it. We can spend (a limited amount of) time and money trying to figure this out with the help of a contractor. Unlike a new feature, we define the task as answering a set of questions (e.g. does this tool support what we need, is there another way, what else would be affected by this approach?) and maybe even create a mockup or a prototype, rather than a full implementation.
Unlike a new feature, we define the task as answering a set of questions, and maybe even create a mockup or a prototype
For example, we are in the process of adding data to the budget portal we created for National Treasury — vulekamali. We wanted to take data from Treasury and transform it into another shape. This needed to be approved before we release it, so we had a contractor create a prototype for us. This allowed us to show the decision-makers what it might look like and confirm how we were going to make these changes before I got more involved in the proper implementation. This meant I could focus on other things and use my time wisely. I’ll expand on this next.
3. Don’t get bogged down by something you aren’t good at … just hand it over.
My responsibility is to make a judgement call on how to implement something in the right way, for our context. I’ve been at OpenUp for several years now and I understand what an appropriate implementation of the organisation’s projects looks like — this can be difficult to explain to someone on the outside. This is why I need to be focusing on the things I’m good at. For the same reason, I shouldn’t get involved with invoicing, managing a client’s expectations and coordinating communications between different parties. These are things I should be aware of as the person responsible for the tech side of things, but I don’t need to get bogged down by it. Instead, these are the things I should hand over, to someone who is good at them and can take responsibility for them. A big part of this is trust and the ability to let go of things. It’s crucial to communicate roles explicitly, so the right person does the right thing, in the right way.
4. Explore different planning and time management systems
I come from a modern software development industry context, where we used agile working processes, particularly scrum, to reduce risk, and plan effectively and pragmatically. But that way of working has certain assumptions, like the size of your team and the ability of its members to complement each other. If you’re not on a team of four to nine people with a scrum master and project manager, you can feel isolated and like you don’t have back up. Until recently, this planning process helped me manage my time, but when things changed and our way of working shifted, I lost my planning and time management system. This is largely because I don’t have a project manager or a single project’s management system managing my time any more. I am responsible for my time management now. When trying out new systems, pay attention to what they address, and what they don’t.
I lost my planning and time management system. This is largely because I don’t have a project manager or a single project’s management system managing my time any more.
The three things that helped me were (1) mindfulness, providing me with a mental refuge where I can explore my occasional state of panic and anxiety, and almost always land up figuring out whether I should be carrying a particular responsibility; (2) the Getting Things Done method, which is just a systematic way of taking things held in your head and filing it to plan and action, on at appropriate times; and (3) creating my own, personalised time management system from pieces of others.
5. You need to trust your system
An important part of keeping my anxiety at bay is trusting that the system will work and things won’t fall through the cracks. When I began waking up like clockwork at 3:30 am every morning, my mind looping over work-related issues, the psychologist I saw for help aptly termed this, “solving”. He proposed writing it down in a notebook next to my bed and creating a routine of checking the notebook when I sit down to plan my day. This is echoed in Getting Things Done, which states that things will only stay out of your head if you trust your system of filing them and a routine to eventually act on them.
Fundamentally we can only do so much. The way to trust that I will “get to everything” is to make a note of every task or issue, and make sure that I eventually decide what to do with it. That could mean making a decision about how to do something, or letting the person waiting on a response know that it’s just not something I can or should take on. If I know I’m not going to meet a commitment or am not the right person to complete the task, I just need to say something. This does not amount to failure; it is about taking responsibility for my work and workflow, and managing expectations.
6. Be open and explicit with your colleagues
Of course, I’m not always stress free and I still feel the pressure at times, but now I actually have systems in place to cope with that stress and regain control. Over the last year, I have at times felt like I just want to walk out of the door and leave my anxieties and stress behind. Two things kept me here. The first is the knowledge that OpenUp is aligned with my ambitions and interests like nowhere else I’ve come across or imagined. The second is knowing that these are systematic issues in how I approach my work and that they would follow me anywhere I go where I’m not stuck as a contributor in a single scrum team.
This allows people to prepare and have systems in place to prevent a crisis if someone is going through something, big or small.
While feeling this way is natural, it’s not healthy and should not just be left to blow up. In an organisation that cares about each other and its sustainability, it is important to know where everyone is, mentally. This allows people to prepare and have systems in place to prevent a crisis if someone is going through something, big or small. I try to be open and honest about my mental state with my colleagues. So when I needed a break, they were able to pick up around me and give me time to recuperate. We are also constantly refining how we work as an organisation, and sharing my personal journey has helped to identify changes that benefit the organisation as a whole.
7. The responsibility doesn’t have to be crushing
This is really the headline for my list of thoughts and learnings on this crazy journey. By making mistakes and learning how to wade my way through the mishaps, I’ve realised that the responsibility doesn’t have to be crushing. In fact, it can be a lot of fun and I’m excited, energised and inspired by the work I get to do in the context of change.
Thank you to my colleagues for helping me tell my story.
In this post, I mentioned how we scale on the project implementation side. We now want to scale our project leadership to be able to take on more projects at the same time. Take a look at the role description and if you are excited about making the biggest impact possible with the smallest amount of technology, please get in touch.
