I’ve never wanted children, and yet I started a company
By the age of 10, I was already done with the torture of being responsible for other humans. Physical pain? Check. Unending screaming? Check. Sleepless nights? Check. Constant worry? Check. Self-sacrifice in the name of love? Checkity, check check check. Motherhood was off my bucket list for good.
I would not subject myself to all that again for the sake of having an adorable mini-me. Most of all, I wasn’t going to deal with the hurt again. The physical pain, I could handle… but not the worry. Not the emotional, soul-crushing hurt that comes with having an unconditionally-demanding 24/7 job. It had been hard enough to escape the first time around. I may be young, but I know this — love of a parent for her child, (or, suppose, a child for her parents) is so powerful of a motivator that it can and will drive unending self-sacrifice in the face of the worst kinds of hurt.
Bottom line? No babies for me. I would have done anything to avoid reliving the horrors of my childhood.
But then somehow, fresh out of undergrad, I decided to completely throw out my hard-earned fledgling career as a neuroscientist. All in order to become the CEO and cofounder of Opter Life. What does my career choice have to do with having babies? Surprisingly, everything.
Oh, how ironic life is. I was avoiding motherhood like the plague, and here I am building a startup that might as well be a baby. The impossible workload, endless hours, and constant worry are all here again at my door.
“What does that have to do with having babies? Surprisingly, everything.”
Sometimes I wonder — would the risk-averse me of a year ago have changed her mind about becoming an entrepreneur if she’d known she was essentially getting pregnant with a high-tech baby? Would she pack her custom-embroidered UCLA lab coat and head back to the laboratories where she could be certain of safety, far far away from the struggles of her past?
I don’t think she would. Not if she knew what I know now. Whatever the struggles, I wouldn’t give away this experience for anything. Not in a million years. Not even if you offered me the Nobel Prize instead.
Because along with the emotional turmoil, raising Opter came with the supreme, inexpressible joy of creating something entirely new and watching it grow. Unexpectedly, I’ve learned the joys of parenthood. And even I have to admit: here are few feelings in life so exquisite and intoxicating.
“Oh, how ironic life is. I was avoiding motherhood like the plague, and here I am building a startup that might as well be a baby.”
Opter was conceived on an ordinary day in Autumn. Who knew a simple conversation over lunch could lead to so much? That night, the air sparked with passion and excitement. I had found the conduit through which I would change the world.
When we first committed, I had yet to fully understand the breadth of this monumental task. Still, I was terrified beyond comprehension. I’m not ready for this. I’m not good enough to care for something so delicate. What if something horrible happens? What if I screw up?
When Opter’s website launched, I was elated with its first steps. I had never been more proud in my life. I became one of those people. I became one of those giddy new parents whose Facebook pages have become completely overrun with pictures of their beautiful child. Life was good.
On the eve of our first test launch, we were taking Opter’s hand and walking it to the first day of school. I bit my nails to shreds. Would people pick on it? Would people like it? Could we have gone wrong somewhere?
I took to writing a heartfelt piece on Medium to assuage my anxiety.
Chalisa P on Mar. 28, 2016
“…Building a product is like falling in love. There’s the constant, niggling wonder — is this the right one? No it’s not… Yes it is. There are the heart-racing, chest-bursting moments where the future seems precariously balanced on the brink of disaster…
And then there are the emotional highs that turn the world into a kaleidoscope of saturated hues. Those moments are so incredible, so intoxicating, that you can’t help but become addicted.
It’s love, there’s no denying, because that person, that idea, has lodged itself in your future in a beautiful, perfect dream that you can’t shake off.”
And then, a week into the launch, we knew something had gone wrong. It was my worst fear come true. We were having difficulty getting people to understand what made Opter different. Worry ate at my brain to the point where nothing else mattered.
We had created something too special to be easily understood. It was like my baby had come home from the first week of school, crying. We were certain Opter had the potential to make the world a better place, but it was clear our strategy had to change. We yanked Opter out of class and cancelled the campaign to regroup and rethink our plans.
And then, it was as if, based on that alone, the school principal had called to tell us that we had failed as parents. It was a kick in the face. Everyone’s morale splattered like eggs dropped on the floor. My cofounders lost hope. Even our friends and family thought we had failed.
“We had created something too special to be easily understood.”
The whole situation hurt like hell, and I very nearly succumbed to the pain. But I loved my baby too much to lose faith. It was a simple matter of strategy, and that I could fix.
“We are on the eve of a wearables revolution.”
The Opter Sleep campaign was fortunate because it gave us enough information to change for the better, and we came out much stronger for it. From our “failure”, we learned that if we were going to get Opter’s foot in the door and really give it a chance at life, we needed to do more than improve upon an existing technology. We needed to truly innovate. I realize now that Opter Sleep was a safe play. And if that Kickstarter had succeeded, we would have committed the next year of our lives to playing it safe. And that’s not going to change the world.
Now, we’re building something that no one has seen before. Opter Pose is an entirely new kind of health tracker, and I think it’s going to change the way the world looks at wearable technology. People are starting to realize that these tools need to do more than simply spit out numbers. For 40% of activity tracker users, number-spitting trackers end up abandoned in a drawer somewhere within 6 months of purchase. The ones that really stick will need to seamlessly integrate into your life and actually help you live better. That’s what the Pose is designed to do.
This realization is spreading as those drawers of abandoned trackers fill up, one by one. We are on the eve of a wearables revolution. And Opter Pose is poised to be there when everyone goes looking for something better to wear.
“…health tools need to do more than simply spit out numbers.”
I am so very glad the campaign didn’t succeed. And I’m so glad we pushed through the pain. Somehow, having this “baby” has gotten me where I’ve always wanted to be — at a job I love, working with the man I love, building something that people honestly believe will change their lives.
Oh, how ironic life is. I was avoiding motherhood like the plague, and here I am happier and more fulfilled than I’ve ever been in my life.
And I’m only 24. Where will Opter take me next? I’ll be chronicling my journey building a health tech company at the Opter Life Blog here on Medium.
Tell me what you think: @ChalisaPrarasri
