During our school years bullying, although it has been brought to an entirely new level with the eruption of social media, was done to ‘weaker’ kids by ‘stronger’ kids. Stereo-typically, the larger, more dominant kids picked on the smaller, usually nerdy kids to give themselves a sense of dominance in front of their peers. But, this doesn't always happen for dominance alone. It can arise from jealousy, racism, religion, peer pressure, body language, sexuality, ability, and ect. The light at the end of the tunnel? High school graduation! As you walk across the stage with Green Day’s Good Riddance — Time of Your Life on repeat in your head and all the audience members fanning themselves due to the over-crowded gymnasium, you picture a less stressful life where your peers finally respect you. You picture a time when you can finally leave all the bull shit behind and move on with your adult life free of discrimination, sexism, racism and bullies in general.
The thought of a bright future gets many high school graduates through eight+ rounds of final exams and many sleepless nights in college. While this alternate reality is helpful then — it just isn't so. Every single reason listed for a child to be bullied can be transferred verbatim to a list for adults to be bullied. But, there is a major difference — word choice. Instead of bullied, adults are ‘challenged’ physically and emotionally by those around them and it is looked upon in an entirely different fashion. Whether you’re the receptionist uneasily laughing at the boss’s dirty jokes, the sales person being spoken to scornfully, the market director taking orders from a ruthless CEO, or the president who doesn't have a voice because the board of directors doesn't respect him/her.
Along with the change in verbiage, we are also expected to react differently. For example, the Market Director: The CEO expects all market directors to work sixteen hour weekdays in addition to spending the weekend responding to email blasts. He also makes it very clear that if they aren’t willing do it — someone younger will take their job and do it for less money. As much as we’d like to shove the CEO to the ground and steal his lunch money, this would just cause an unemployment spout and a law suit.
This is where ‘Grown up’ emotions come in. To get that job, that experience, that promotion — we have to take what hurts in stride. We don’t disrespect the unruly boss, or the horrible co-worker. We have class. We suppress everything and smile until we completely lose it, Britney Spears style. Or, we take it out on our personal lives. Don’t cry at your desk, to your co-workers, to your boss — don’t be weak, they say. It won’t be like this forever, they say.
Not every employed person has this problem, and to those people — well done. You've really dodged a bullet. To those who have/are — choices get made. Choices to stick it out and the pay bills, or take a risk! With risk, there is reward — but to what is worth the risk in your life.
The definition of success varies from person to person, as it takes different things and different experiences to make different people happy.
