Helping Hands

The power of listening, caring, and helping

“In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us.” ~ Flora Edwards

Let me ask a simple question. What are you doing to mobilize the efforts of those around you? Do you even know what those around you are doing? Aspiring to? Dreaming of? If you answer no, we have a problem.

I have found that some of the most satisfying moments in my life have come from helping those around me. Sometimes it’s not even someone I know, and frankly that’s not a prerequisite. If I get a view into what you are doing and I can sense that feeling that your determination and passion are not going to allow you to stop, I’m likely going to help you in some way. You see, it is my goal and passion to mobilize, assist, and enable those around me to do great things. It’s what powers me and it is much of my purpose.

I discovered many years ago that I have a few talents that afford me the ability to accomplish some cool stuff and that was satisfying. Back then I felt comfortable with the idea of being able to make some impact where I could while at the same time creating a comfortable life for myself. There was a period in my existence when that was enough of a horizon for me to walk toward. I was just going to mind my own business and do what I could personally to make the world a better place.

But then one day I had someone approach me about wanting to get my thoughts around a business that they were looking to launch based on some of the professional experiences I had accumulated over the years. We sat down over a beer and they started sharing their plan. I immediately realized several opportunities that they hadn’t thought about or dismissed for one reason or another. I shared with them my thoughts, perspectives, experiences and it all started to come together like a story. After we were done chatting I wasn’t necessarily sure what the end result was, but we settled up the check and I went on my way. So imagine my surprise the next day when I received a call from this individual and they are thanking me for everything that I did the day before. I’m wondering at that point what in the world I had really done, and was a little confused. After a very heartfelt amount of thanks was heaped upon me I asked what I did that deserved such an outpouring. They simply responded to me, “You cared enough to stop, really listen, and to offer meaningful insight with what you said yesterday. It gave me hope and renewed focus. It really helped.”

I was happy to receive the response I did, but I didn’t think much about it in that moment, though it did make me smile. Then later in the day I took some time to think back to the conversation and how it made me feel. At that point it dawned on me. I’m not exactly sure how this experience I just outlined had happened, but I wanted to do it again!! It felt good!!

That first real meaningful experience was very serendipitous and occurred rather organically, and it illustrated a key learning that I have carried with me to this very day. That learning is that when you help someone else achieve what they are aspiring for, you are really widening your circle of influence and building out a network of friends, colleagues, partners and other interested parties that in return care about you and what you are doing and what you’re trying to accomplish. As opposed to a vicious circle (a situation in which the apparent solution of one problem in a chain of circumstances creates a new problem and increases the difficulty of solving the original problem) you are building out what is called a virtuous circle (A condition in which a favorable circumstance or result gives rise to another that subsequently supports the first). Remember, “good” typically feeds “good.” Seldom are great achievements or innovations born out of cesspools of negativity or selfishness.

I firmly believe that the act of helping and enabling others to be successful sets you up to be successful. Is it some form of magic? Of course not, but remember “Relationships Matter.” I highly encourage you to engage with those around you to find out “what’s going on.” If you know what people are working toward and you demonstrate interest, they are more likely to open up with you and share, at which point you have an opportunity to listen, care, and maybe even help.

You might be shocked at how good you feel and just how valuable that relationship ends up being.