Imposter Syndrome — Waswas and PPM
The vantage point is, in my opinion, the most compelling aspect of all PPM. Where functional leadership is necessarily focused on the success and performance of specific vertical slices of the org, PMOs’ positioning outside of the vertical structures provides a fascinating point of view.
We see the strategy, and we see why it’s the strategy. We see the company’s business environment through the lens of the executive and we understand where the company is and wants to be positioned in it. We see the initiatives launched in support of the strategy, and we know how they fit together. When we’re good at this (and we’re good at this, aren’t we?) we receive, consume, and then disseminate this strategy in the form of programs, projects, portfolios, and all their components. We walk this strategy all the way to the ground level, at some points even asking the people whose hands do the work “was this done? OK, when will it be done and how can I help?”
And the work is that of building. Our projects create the toolset, the framework, the scaffolding within which the enterprise grows and learns. The ERP implementations, product selection projects, technology deployments, infrastructure improvements, the version upgrades and line turnover projects — they’re the tools of our org’s growth and sustainability. When we describe functional areas of the organization as silos in our mental model (not always a bad thing, it’s a mental model after all) we’re the ones building those silos.
So if we look at how strategy flows through an organization — from the executive, through the PMO, and into the functional areas — it’s this vantage point that makes PPM so valuable both up and down the value chain, but it’s also the source of our greatest obstacle — ourselves, our confidence, and the ever-present low din of imposter syndrome.
So if we look at how strategy flows through an organization — from the executive, through the PMO, and into the functional areas — it’s this vantage point that makes PPM so valuable both up and down the value chain, but it’s also the source of our greatest obstacle — ourselves, our confidence, and the ever-present low din of imposter syndrome.
It’s our mark of Cain. Standing outside of the silos, we’re in the snow, looking in at all the warm, comfortable functional roles in the organization — accountants, middle managers, HR generalists — with their one-page resumes and clear-cut professional identities, who know they’ll be needed whether the organization continues its mission of quality products for the lives of blahblahblah or decides to go and sell eggs.
When the big tectonic shifts happen, when the organization pivots or refocuses, our PMOs are usually part of the demolition. We get pushed back into the functional areas (if we can fit there), or we get pushed out altogether, while everyone inside remains safe and warm and employed. And it can be hard to focus on our value apparatus if we let this hang too large in our vision, so it’s important that we keep it in its proper place. It’s our Waswas, the whispers of Shaitan that sow doubt in our ability and our value mechanism. But know that Imposter syndrome is just there. It’s a data point we need to recognize and consume, and then move on. In some ways it’s a spidey-sense and often correlates with burnout risk, so be sure and self-monitor for signs and have a release valve.
Despite this ever-present fear, we do this because we have to. It’s a flow state we chase like a drug, because when we’re on we’re so fucking on and that’s when strategies go from being just bullshit on paper to real, actual change. We’re looking for that conference room full of chaos and despair, where we can walk in, grab a whiteboard marker and a stack of sticky notes and say “OK, what are the five things we need to get done.” WBS, dependency chains, risk analysis. Here’s what your strategy looks like translated into action. Let’s fucking go.
Every organization, every PMO will be different. Some will feel like accounting gigs, making sure numbers line up and when they don’t, filling out the correct form in triplicate and depositing it in the right slot for “numbers don’t line up.” Then others will be fast-and-loose, I’m sure you’ll figure it out, you’re smart kind of shops. Both will be overwhelming at times, and both will bring the specter of imposter syndrome over your horizon. It doesn’t mean you’re not cut out for PPM; rather, it means you’re starting to get it, to become one of us. Welcome to the show.
