Dreams of Carol
From Blackheart: Love is a Whore
This is a book and should be read in the following order: College Days I, Lover’s Cross, College Days II, Love is a Vulture, In The Endless Darkness, Love is a Whore, The Girl in The Bakery, Dreams of Carol, I Demon
Dreams of Carol I.
My howling beast was ready to go wild
Preparing to ravage you in vision’s form
When arose my saintly self with a scorn;
Desire does defile!
Back down in deep regret
The Beast sank in a heaving breath
To await my saintly death
Hesitation in the end,
Will make you repent.
Howls to my Saintly Self the Beast;
Give in to the vibrant loin
I foresee your weakness upon itself increasing
Why waste your time in pointless play
When the time to act does decay
The Saint whines,
Wretch! It is your truth that grinds me
Nevertheless, you she shall not see
The Beast laughs,
Ha! Never then you shall she see
The Saint demands,
The Beast cries in rage,
Action is confined to courage
For which you have none
Only through the Beast
Can you stand or fall
Only through the Beast
Can you have the gut to talk at all.
So spoke the Saint to Carol
Saying sweet sugary that and this
The words oozed out His lips
But Carol stood unimpressed
For the Saint had no zest
And when the Saint had finished out his plea
Carol said everything except;
“You may call to see me.”
Dreams of Carol II.
Thus the Beast howled in the last,
Bellowing out in misery:
Coward! What have I said?
Did it not come to pass?
That you failed again
For you fought me to this end.
My Saintly-self fell to knees weeping:
Take me in your maul
Consume me in lonely fire!
You win again in loss
This is the final blow
The lessons to forever know;
The Howling Beast shall never starve
He shall forever feast!
Whether in victory or sobbing weeps
The Howling Beast is my master
Lead me now with certainty
Even to disaster.
So the Beast took command
To try to win fair Carol’s hand
Oh, he spoke so smooth and sweet
The words smoked out his teeth
But Carol held aloft her crucifix of scorns
And took the devil by the horns
Away from me you creature!
Let these words be your teacher
There is nothing in me for you
You are that which I rue.
Dreams of Carol and the Beast
A peaceful blossom,
A symbolic Dove
Flying high above
All us devils in the mud
I whistled for thee
Holding out my wicked claw
That you would make a nest
In my paw to rest
I would cup you and rub your lily breast
But I was just another devil in the scores
And high above you just ignored
Far away, continued you to soar.
Grasping my horns upon my head
Howling to the moon,
Come to me white Dove!
My soul is dead!
Away across the moors of sin
I heard the echo of your hymn
But unheard to you
Was my hopeless wind.
I followed your song around the world
As fast as my hooves would hurl
Always catching just your glimpse
And always in your loving sound
But I lost you in the despairing desert
And in my fury I quit my quest
And tore my heart from my chest
And consumed the hollow organ
With a bitter spit.*
In reference to Stephen Crane In the Desert.
Note To The Reader
The poetry in this book was written when I was in my late teens and early twenties. This poetry can be offensive to some people so I would caution that there are some explicit elements in this writing. Blackheart is a struggle to balance good and evil with the desire to love and be loved. This struggle is entrenched in the concept of faith. The poetry attempts to show these ideas through conflicting emotions that shift in extremes. For this reason, I feel it is important to read this work in order. Each poem and chapter builds on the next.
I hope that you enjoy the reading. Thank you, Vince.