Here’s the One Issue We Need to Get Woke On

Hint… It Isn’t Racism or Gun Control

It isn’t the supposed COVID hoax either, despite this moron’s protest to the contrary.

I really don’t think any of us needs to be any more woke on controversial issues like police misconduct. We’re all plenty woke already.

Did I mention I hate using words incorrectly like the cool kids do? Using correct grammar is cool, tool. Speaking like an idiot isn’t.

But back to the point I’m making. How could we not be “woke” if you must state it that way? We’re bombarded everywhere we turn. These issues are there when we watch the television news. They’re there when we scroll our social media feeds.

Unless your family enacted some play nice moratorium on political chatter at the table, I bet they were right there at Thanksgiving dinner, too. Pass me the cranberry sauce and a few more of your thoughts on immigration policy.

Actually, don’t. Cranberry sauce sucks and so do you and your dumb thoughts on… everything.

We all suck because we’re a bunch of suckers. You know they’re doing this crap to us on purpose, right? If you don’t believe this hillbilly, maybe you’ll listen to some guy from the city with a funny name, Odilon Camara:

…our current level of polarization is not an accidental byproduct of politics — it’s an intentional strategy on the part of politicians.

I read that and choked on a mouthful of leftover stuffing.

Say what? Let me get this straight, Odilon. You’re telling me they want me to hate my asshole neighbor who has time to jam a dozen Biden signs in his yard but won’t rake his damn leaves that keep blowing over here in a heap and covering my twenty-two Trump signs? You’re also telling me they’re pressing my buttons to make sure I do? Well fuck me.

But it does make sense. Hate could drive a lot of votes. If we’re at each other’s throats, we’ll draw a line in the sand and jump to one side of it or the other like Hatfields versus McCoys.

It didn’t take much of a nudge to get me to hate that rat bastard neighbor of mine either. I practically wanted to hate him and was just itching for an excuse to be served up to me on a silver platter like a Thanksgiving feast.

I hate politicians even more though, and now I’m justified. Thanks, Odilon.

We need to wake up alright, but not to the issues. We’ll always have points of disagreement over issues, or they wouldn’t be called issues. They’d be called rainbows, and no one disagrees over rainbows.

We need to start seeing these politicians on both sides of the aisle for who they really are — a bunch of manipulative, power hungry, self-serving users who will tell us any lie they think might push us to their side.

Once we figure that out, we need to stop feeding into it. Here’s what another smart city boy, Washington Post columnist Michael Gerson, had to say about that:

In a divided nation, Americans need to defend a space in their lives where cable news does not reach, where social media does not incite, and where the basic, natural tendency is to treat other people like human beings.

Country boy translation… Pick a side if we want but not because we hate the other side, because we don’t. We just think we do. That’s exactly how they want it, and they’ve gone to great lengths invading every corner of our lives to make it so.

Politicians don’t care about us. They care only about our votes. They’ll lie, cheat, and steal to get them too, and no, I’m not talking about a stolen election. I’m talking about making half of us feel like it was stolen and the other half feel like the half that thinks it was is a bunch of stark raving lunatics.

Let’s all wake the hell up about that.