FAANG Shares? Nah, what you want are COW Shares
I recently discovered an investment option that not only is a highly productive asset paying weekly dividends, but is great for one’s health
No, I am not talking about buying shares in COW (the ticker symbol for iPathA Series B Bloomberg Livestock Subindex — I didn’t know there was such a mutual fund you could invest in! Literally just looked this up before I started typing out this article). Folks, I am talking about being part owner of a real, honest to goodness cow.
First, a little background. My whole family even my two young kids are huge CNN fans, especially of the series Parts Unknown hosted by the late great Anthony Bourdain. A couple weeks ago a new show debuted by Dr. Sanjay Gupta that is similar in that it involves travelling all over the world and enjoying the local cuisine, but with a bent towards finding out the secrets to living a long life. My daughter was obsessed with Dr. Gupta’s visit to a dairy farm in an Italian village and the unpasteurized cheese that was being turned out by the trayfuls. Dr. Gupta hypothesized that the consumption of raw dairy products, with their intact good bacteria still trapped inside, could be a contributing factor in explaining the longevity of rural Italians.
That episode was on a Saturday night, and literally the next day Sunday, we were on our way to Johnson’s Acres, which we had Googled and luckily was only a 45-minute drive from our suburban neighborhood. (Not sure if this is the same Old Man Johnson’s Farm of “Raspberry Beret” fame. Well, let’s just say it is, because it’s more fun that way and who doesn’t love Prince?!)
How cow shares work
Just like a share of stock, you buy one or more shares of ownership of a herd of cows, except that instead of having a theoretical tiny piece of a company, you get something tangible and healthy to boot! In the case of the farm we went to, for the price of one share ($50 per month), we get a gallon of freshly squeezed milk per week ($5 extra per month for delivery to a nearby location in our city, free if you pick up directly at the farm).
At least with Johnson’s Acres, buying shares and getting the milk can all be done without setting foot on the farm at all. But half the fun is the novelty of actually being on the farm and seeing where the milk is coming from. We of course wanted to “try before we buy,” so that’s why we made the drive. The owner was not going to be there the day we visited, but he had told us beforehand that we could call him upon arrival and he would tell us exactly what to do. (Other half of the fun is having “Kenny From The Farm” in your list of contacts on your phone.)
When we arrived, there were zero humans on the premises and we called KFTF, but he was not picking up. Not to worry though, soon afterwards a car had pulled up and a gentleman emerged with a case of empty half gallon Mason jars. It wasn’t Old Man Johnson but a long-time customer who very kindly took the time to go over the whole process with us. Below are photos of the numbered refrigerator system — pretty self-explanatory with the helpful signage.
Seems like a lot of trouble just for some milk. Why didn’t you just go to the store like normal people?
A short time later, Kenny did call us back and filled us in on everything else we needed to know besides what the customer had already walked through with us. We asked what should we do to have a taste test, since we didn’t see any jars that were labelled thusly, nor any Dixie or Solo cups to pour ourselves a sample. “Oh, just go ahead and take home a jar.”
Us: “Wow thanks! But how should we pay for it?”
KFTF: “You don’t! It’s illegal for me to sell raw milk in Colorado!”
Huh???
The legal aspects of unpasteurized milk in the United States
Before I read this article, I did not realize that it is straight up against the law for stores to sell raw milk in all but 13 states. In 17 states, you can buy raw milk, but only by going to the actual farm where the milk was produced. What about the other 20 states? You just can’t plain buy unpasteurized milk PERIOD! And in only 8 of those 20 states are you able to access raw milk at all, but it has to be through a “cow-share agreement.”
So, let’s say you are an American who really wants to enjoy unpasteurized dairy products on a regular basis, but you don’t live in a state where you can either buy them in a store, visit a farm, or buy a cow share. What are you supposed to do? I’m sorry to say this, but sadly you are completely out of luck (unless you are willing to drive out of state or totally uproot yourself and your family to relocate). That’s because it is also illegal for raw milk to be sold across state lines. No Amazon Fresh for you, bub.
Well that was all very interesting, but how did the raw milk taste???
As soon as we got home from the farm, we COULD. NOT. WAIT to crack open that jar and gulp down copious amounts of that sweet, sweet milk. We had of course blended the nice thick head of cream floating on the top, to get all that creamy goodness evenly distributed throughout.
Finally, the moment of truth had arrived. My family let me be the first one to have a sip (after all, it was Mother’s Day). It lived up to the hype; I loved it! I was bracing myself for some potential funkiness; however there was none of that. It was the epitome of purity and wholesomeness. I’m afraid that I had pumped it up a little too much to my family however, because afterwards they had a go and they said “it just tastes normal!”
So, while it was not quite a “nectar of the gods” experience as I had been romanticizing, everyone was in unanimous agreement that the raw milk DID have the great luxurious mouthfeel one would expect. Next day we plunked down our money to buy a cow share. According to the below database, it looks like one of the herd is due to pop next month. Dibs on Oreo!
