Why I disable push notifications for nearly everything except calls and SMS
Chat messages from friends and family are among the hardest notifications to ignore. Rightfully so—odds are, whatever thing you’re trying to accomplish is probably less important than the people you care about. Unless you’re an air traffic controller or a surgeon or whatever.
Of course, your current task is almost certainly more important than notifications such as these:
- “Hey there’s a new Uber Eats promo!”
- “Hey you forgot to practice on Duolingo today!”
- “Hey it’s Black Friday! C’mon, buy stuff!”
Most people rightfully dismiss promotional notifications without a second thought. But when a person goes to dismiss a chat notification, their conscience may have them thinking twice. They may wonder if failing to respond right away makes them a bad friend.
In this article, I argue that disabling almost all push notifications can sometimes make you a better friend, as well as a better worker.
“How can turning off push notifications make me a better friend?”
Have you ever dismissed a chat notification because you weren’t in the right headspace to talk to that person at that moment? Have you ever forgotten to reply back as a result?
This largely goes away when you turn off push notifications. If you’re in the middle of something, chats are completely off your mind. When you emerge from the weeds, only then will you think to yourself, “Ah, glad that’s done. Hm, I wonder what my friends are saying on <insert-chat-app-here>?”
The difference is that you’re in the chat because you want to be there, not because you were interrupted by your phone and now feel obligated to answer.
With push notifications off, you are more likely to enter each chat in a relaxed, patient, and attentive state. Or you might just be bored and looking for someone to talk to. In either case, doesn’t that sound like a recipe for a good chat?
The same goes for work chats, by the way. I’ve turned off Slack notifications too.
“What if I miss something important?”
If you’re anything like me, you’ll still be checking your chats every chance you get. Besides, if someone had something really important to tell you, wouldn’t they call you?
I find I’m actually less likely to miss something with push notifications off. I never dismiss messages because there’s nothing for me to dismiss. The first time I see a message is when I open the app. Because I’m entering chats voluntarily and with my full attention, I’m more likely to read and respond to each and every message that was sent to me.
Looking back on the past couple years since I turned off chat notifications, I can’t think of anything important that I’ve missed as a result. At work, I may have missed a few spontaneous requests from colleagues. I make time for them as soon as I see their message. So far everyone at the office seems happy with how I work.
In my personal life, I may have missed a couple opportunities to hang out with friends. Thankfully my friends are accommodating and now know to SMS or call me about last-minute hangout plans.
“SMS?”
More commonly known in North America as “just texting,” SMS messages are one of the few things I get push notifications for.
Where I’m from, there is an unwritten rule that SMS is for semi-urgent communication that deserves immediate attention. For example:
- A friend is spontaneously inviting you out.
- A friend is trying to find you in a noisy, crowded area.
- A friend coming to pick you up is letting you know they’ve arrived.
Of course, this approach doesn’t work in cultures where SMS is no longer common. In Thailand for example, SMS has largely been superseded by Line. When I travel to such countries, I temporarily turn on notifications for one chat app, taking care to mute any noisy group chats that pop up.
“Why not just turn off the notifications that are distracting?”
I see two issues with this approach:
- You end up playing whack-a-mole with every new group chat that crops up and every new app you install.
- You have to A) consciously realize that the notification is distracting, and B) take a few seconds to disable that type of notification. If you’re in the middle of an important task, you might not have the wherewithal or patience to do A or B.
I therefore maintain that it’s better to start with a deny-all policy and selectively allow notifications that you know you want to receive.
“Why not just silence notifications instead of turning them off completely? Or use Focus/Do Not Disturb?”
While muting notifications does solve the immediate interruption problem, it still leaves a distraction problem. The notifications will still be there to distract you the minute you pick up your phone to search something on Google, or check your calendar, or do whatever task you need your phone for in that moment. Pending notifications become this sort of half-baked to-do list that begs to be looked at.
Turning on Focus/Do Not Disturb just kicks the can down the road. The pending notifications will be there to disturb and distract the minute Focus mode is switched off.
If push notifications compel you to act on things that aren’t urgent, it’s a sign that your phone is pushing you around. Don’t let it.
The Dangling Hook
Many apps regularly prompt you to turn notifications back on after you’ve turned them off. There’s something insidious about the friendly little reminders one gets from Duolingo, Facebook, YouTube, etc. Could they be honest attempts to help me get better use out of their app? The cynic in me scoffs at the question. “What they’re really doing,” I tell myself, “is casting a lure, hoping to reel you back in…”
