The Good News
What I Have Learned from Infertility (or Any Trial)
The good news is that the Savior understands and feels exactly how I feel in this very moment. And He loves me. He can help me through it, if I will let Him. The good news is that I can always pray. The good news is that God’s strength is always greater than my own. The good news is that this is part of the test of mortality. Before we came to this earth we were taught and prepared for what would come. This is my time to practice all the learning I received before this mortal journey and have an opportunity to prove myself. The good news is that I will be able to help my children when they are waiting for something from the Lord, and begin to wonder if He is there, and if He is listening, and if He cares.
The good news is that the Atonement of Jesus Christ will make up for all the unfair things in life. The good news is that while no one understands me perfectly, and at times, I make it out to seem like no one really cares, at the center is my Savior, who does understand and does care. The good news is that without our trials we would not be refined. This opportunity to wait and to grow and to feel a little uncomfortable now, will be spiritually strengthening and fortifying. These opportunities will be the avenue to being fully prepared for what is to come after this life. Without the opportunity to be refined by trial, we would not be fully prepared for the celestial blessings that our Heavenly Father wants to give us. Our trials are personalized for each of us, given from a loving Heavenly Father who knows us individually.
President Boyd K. Packer shared a scripture, which teaches of the importance of maintaining a soft heart while waiting for the Lord’s deliverance. In Alma 62:41, it teaches: “But behold, because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war, and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility.”
Then President Packer taught: “Surely you know some whose lives have been filled with adversity who have been mellowed and strengthened and refined by it, while others have come away from the same test bitter and blistered and unhappy” (“The Mystery of Life,” General Conference, October 1983). He also taught, “We live in a day when the adversary stresses on every hand the philosophy of instant gratification. We seem to demand instant everything, including instant solutions to our problems…It was meant to be that life would be a challenge. To suffer some anxiety, some depression, some disappointment, even some failure is normal…[If you] have a good, miserable day once in a while, or several in a row,…stand steady and face them. Things will straighten out. There is great purpose in our struggle in life” (“Solving Emotional Problems in the Lord’s Own Way,” General Conference, April 1978).
I have felt some of these strong negative emotions, especially after we receive news that we have not been picked, or a hoped-for adoption situation won’t work out. I have given in to temptation to be bitter, discouraged, angry, and filled with self-pity. But I have learned that I have agency in these situations. I can choose how I will react. I have felt the despair of choosing to focus on the negative. And I have also felt the Savior’s redemptive love as I have sought His help, forgiveness, and comfort. I have learned through these experiences that choosing happiness and hope will always be the better choice. And that is what I will choose. Mighty, frequent, and fervent prayer is the key to unlocking that heavenly aid. I know that Jesus Christ is the answer to our struggles. He is always there waiting to help us. The Atonement can change our hearts and help us to be content with what we have been given, and enable us to move forward as witnesses of His power.
I know who I am. I know God has a plan. I will follow Him in faith. My gender is an important part of my premortal, mortal, and eternal destiny. Whatever limitations I have been given while here on the earth are for my own growth and development. Though I may struggle with this now, I look forward to the hope of being an eternal mother.
