Mentally Lost

For as long as I can remember, being years, I’ve come to have lacked a lot self esteem, self confidnence and self love. But aside from that, I’m here to declare that I’ve come to have a lot more self confidence, self love and self esteem to conquer the world and to make a life for myself as well as being my own person (I’m not my parents).

My self worth matters just as much as my own mental health, wellbeing and health is important too. I have let other people like my own parents and sometimes even my own younger sister take away my self worth making it harder every time and even more impossible to love myself unconditionally; but that’s in the past and as for being past my past, I’m here to declare that I’m feeling more worthy and I know more people I have relationships with now and those I’ll meet as well as those I’ll reconcile with will see my real and true worth.

And to also add here, my progress, achievements and all else is super duper important to me as well as it is close to my heart. Just like my passions, hobbies, purpose and career are close to my heart as well! And in which I stand for it 110% and I won’t let anyone take me down nor remain on the ground if that ever happens. And I also intend to make something of myself real soon, aiming for this year (2017)!

My passions, hobbies, purpose and career are truly something I am so truly grateful for and I can’t imagine my life wihout them being a part of me. And to close this off for tonight, I’m grateful for all my progress, achievements and all else that I’ve gained in little over 2 years in recovery with my mental health; and I’m more than willing to fight and protect my happiness, mental health and wellbeing to my complete extent.

For so many years, I’ve come to the realization that I made more than enough wrong choices and decisions. One mistake was putting the key to my happiness in the wrong pockets. And many others which lead to some real mental health issues. But aside from that, along with the choices I made to fix myself and become better from being broken and damaged for so many years, has lead me to the person I am today.

And I couldn’t be any prouder. And I intend on working more to get more results and earn more rewards for all my hard work with my recovery. And on top of that, even though my 3 year mark point for the beginning of my recovery as of April 25th, 2015; I still want to celebrate all my progress and achievements before then, (April 25th, 2018).

But before I close off here, music and other things helped me in a journey through my personality and who I am. All the therapy and healing methods I used such as aromatherapy, therapy sessions, etc were very beneficial to my mental health recovery and my mental wellbeing.

It has taken me years of discovering my real authentic self and it had many bumps in the road along the way. But through all my time searching for the real person I was meant to be, was me. And it took so much more of what I thought would be impossible for as long as I found myself all caught up in being the person society wanted me to be which I call the prison world because it felt like hell.

With how desperate and in need of that acceptance of others of me, I lost myself so much, I became the complete oposite of my real authentic self. Which brought me into a deep depression. And it has taken me a little over 2 years to come out stronger and wiser than I have ever been as a normal human being of society.

But through all my experiences living with mental illness, it has brought me a new part of my purpose to speak as an advocate and a reviver (like Selena Gomez’s album: Revival – representing to me as reviving myself out of my depression and into a healthier lifestyle and all else needed) for mental health to stand up in the mental health community together to help end the stigma around mental illness and continue to be someone’s someone to talk to whenever they need someone to talk to about anything in the mental heatlh subject.

Doing so gives me great amounts of purpose and meaning in our world and it feels so good to just contribute to an issue and community where there’s not enough: compassion, empathy, and all else as if somone were to declare they have a physical illnes versus having a mental illness. With all that I’ve been through, it feels so great to just pursue in the psychology and mental health career as well as a huge and important passion of mine that I value greatly.

And with my experiences with mental illness and mental health, I believe that I can make a difference in the lives of those in the mental health community those suffering and all others living with mental illness seeking help towards a healthier lifestyle yet a better life than the stigma around mental illness and the mental illness/demon has made out of them and their life.