Why Do We All Lie So Much?

Everywhere you look, our society is lying about the most common subjects in our lives:

• The politicians all do it repeatedly. I’d venture to guess they tell the truth less than 50% of the time. This is true of every side of the political persuasion and in every country I’ve ever lived in (7 now).
• The media might lie greater than 90% of the time. If they aren’t lying outright, they’re attempting to deceive, exaggerate, sensationalize, propagandize, or omit real news. Again, this is every side of the political persuasion and in every country I’ve lived in.
• Celebrities are less than truthful a lot of the time. They hire agents, managers, PR reps, makeup artists, wardrobe designers, plastic surgeons, and various other people to create a larger than life persona. However, when you see the average celebrity in public without their “manufactured image”, they look like ordinary people. And of course they are.
• On social media, we lie a lot. When we post pictures to Facebook and Instagram, we generally restrict it to only the best moments of our lives. I regularly see people go to an event or on a vacation ONLY to post it to social media. It’s not even fun for them. It’s all carefully curated to show off to friends. Our social media is far from a representation of our lives.
• I date a lot. It’s almost laughable to look at an online dating profile or even to go on first dates. It’s so far from who that person really is. Most of the time, the person looks far different from the few online pictures they show. And they carefully hide any flaws or negative traits they might have. In terms of personality, zero authenticity is shown, including whether you actually like the other person. According to dating magazines, this has to be hidden! And if you don’t like the other person, you never say so. You simply “ghost” them.
• How about our corporations? Ever heard a food company make claims like 100% juice or low fat? This is very often a distortion of the truth. Ever read a company’s mission statement? Do you think they ever prioritize fulfilling it? In my experience, it’s almost never.
• In the investing world, many studies show that companies purposely underestimate future earnings so they can surprise the market when they eventually announce. We also know that most companies report very different financials for tax authorities versus investors. Pretty hard to understand the real picture when such stories are manufactured for the audience!
• Advertising is everywhere we look. We are so fed up with them that we use DVRs to fast forward commercials and ad block software in our browsers. But it still manages to find us. And isn’t advertising just one giant lie? Nobody is really giving a balanced look at their product. It’s one-sided and very often stretches the truth.
• Our employers lie on regular basis. They make promises about how wonderful the job is when you’re interviewing. And somehow, people routinely end up disappointed with salaries, bonuses, raises, promotions, and even responsibilities. Then again, employees lie regularly on their resumes. I’ve seen thousands of them and I can easily tell when you’re inflating your title, responsibilities, and accomplishments. Nobody is ever humble when it comes to qualifications.
• Even when we have an opinion nowadays, we routinely are forced to suppress it. You’ll likely offend someone because we can’t handle disagreements anymore. God forbid you think or say the wrong thing and a mob is ready to destroy your reputation.

How did society get this way? Have we always been lying like this? I was actually thinking about it today. I don’t believe a word anyone says anymore. It’s impossible. Others don’t realize this and are simply too trusting of what they see on tv, read online, or hear from others. They are filled with misinformation on a repeated basis. I can’t blame them because the lies are such a regular part of our lives.

So what is real? I wish I knew. But I still think we should behave differently. Maybe it’s just how I am… I’m just not capable of lying to others. If someone asks a question, I don’t filter my answer. I think about the pros and cons of everything instead of taking a one-sided, misinformed opinion. If I don’t know something, I say so. If I do know something, I’m quick to explain it. I don’t say this to brag because it often works against me. As a business owner, it hurts my sales capabilities. In social situations, it diminishes my status (because I rarely use social media or make outrageous claims to bolster it). I’m very open about both strengths/weaknesses, talents/flaws, opportunities/challenges, accomplishments/setbacks.

In my business, Reverse Tide and RT Virtual Reality, I tell the truth as often as humanly possible. While I might get something wrong from time to time, it’s not purposeful. I don’t “sell” people on anything that isn’t true. I believe in what we do and if I’m uncertain, I say so. If I think someone won’t get value from what we do, I decline the sale.

At this stage of my company’s life cycle, I’m seeking investment and partnerships. My pledge is to always be as truthful as possible. I’ll tell an investor exactly what I think they’ll earn. I’ll be up front about risks and benefits. I’ll explain exactly why I’m doing something and I will hide nothing from my pitch. The same goes for pitching a partner on the benefits/risks of aligning with my business. I could probably improve my outcomes if I did it differently but just can’t bring myself to lie.

I wonder if this will work! In today’s world, I see everyone doing it differently. Do I have to lie in order to get ahead? I’m betting on the answer being no. I still think we crave authenticity, truthfulness, reliability, and openness. I will give that to anyone that works with me: investors, partners, employees, customers, suppliers. I do it in my personal life with mixed success. But that’s who I am and my vow to anyone that associates with me. I just hope it works!

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