The Feeling of Everything Passing By
What it means to feel like you mean nothing.
I’m angry sometimes at people, often at society at large. Not because I hate humans but because I hate what we have become. We fake life itself, where I cannot tell what is true from what is fake. Live in a monotonous way that we consider normal. We consider black screens our best friends now, nature has become an afterthought. The internet which was supposed to connect us has become our captors. Even for me writing has become a chore, although a necessary one. I think we need an outside perspective, even an alien one. Aliens at least give us something to self-reflect on. To see outside oneself you must look within.
I watched a movie a while back about a man who fast forwarded through time. He misses many of the important events and only viewed snapshots. He missed his child’s birth, his divorce, his life falling apart and rebuilding. At the end he went back to the beginning of the new life he was starting. If we could only see our future like his maybe we would want to change it. There’s a sense in which we are living in a fast forward mode because we don’t enjoy each day. I admit that’s my feeling, I want to enjoy but I can’t. There’s the quote from Sonmi in Cloud Atlas where she says “Our lives are not our own.” There’s another sense in which she’s right although different from her meaning. We don’t really live our own lives anymore, only somebody else’s.
We’re in a weird sort of state, living vicariously through the lives of others. We watch violent movies because we don’t want to act out the movies ourselves, we watch sex on TV because we ourselves are sexually repressed, we glorify sports figures because they represent the strength we never had, we push kids to do well in school because our parents felt like they never did. Our culture is in decline, there’s no doubt about it. The American population is shrinking and other industrialized nations are sure to follow. Entire groups are reorganized as people move from place to place. Cities are abandoned in favor of suburbs with cheaper housing prices although that has slowed recently in the post-pandemic era.
One has to wonder why this is all happening. Why have we become a techno-addicted culturally declining state. There’s this idea that civilizations like the Atlanteans collapsed not overnight like Plato claimed but over the centuries. Maybe like how the Maya disappeared gradually over many years. For the Romans it took nearly 300 years, will we even last until the end of the century? Coronavirus had affected the entire world. Are we at the end of our civilization? Likely although it’s not the ultimate end, life will still go on.
I feel like life is passing me by. I go on, and my life seems stagnant. Stagnation is a worse fate than death, because at least with death you have progress. I used to be a good engineer, now I’m just a deadbeat. Though there’s nothing wrong with being a loser. Why are great minds always tormented by the age in which they live? We were supposed to enter the new age of Aquarius, so where is it? The new millennium was supposed to be the golden age but it seems to have all the weight but none of the luster.
I still believe we are going to live in the Golden Age. We are being helped with that by outside forces. Whether they have our best intentions at heart is unknown. Sometimes I wonder if an alien invasion, even a faked one wouldn’t be the worst thing. At least we would have something to fight for. I personally am tired of living a life unlived, however I await a message to do something. I feel god is on my side on this one, although maybe it’s not. We must heal and live once more as proper citizens of this planet. What you decide to do with your remaining time on this planet is up to you. Just don’t let life pass you by.