My Life
A balanced diet of everything I need to survive
“Sweetheart, are you giving me your breakfast?”
“No, sir. I have plenty. You take it . . . Please.”
I Count My Blessings
I am no stranger to what is before me and how hard it has been to gain a sense of stability where I no longer fear what new, “fresh hell” will greet me next. Life comes with a multitude of changes, and adaptation and a willingness to change along with it is important. I have a solid foundation and support system. This is a blessing. I am grateful for it. Taking it lightly would be an affront to my faith and to those who love and care for me.
I see them. I know they exist. I acknowledge their presence in my life and I cannot imagine being without them.
During my hardest times, these people have stood by me. They remind me to focus and remain sure of myself. If I have a bad string of events to occur, they are there to make sure I keep my head above water.
Their shoulders are the ones on which I cry. Their hearts open up wider to give just a little more love. They know what the trenches look like and they aim to keep me out of them. On my worst days, they gift me the patience, guidance, and wisdom I need.
I Am Loved
I know this. I do not have to question it. I am shown in every possible way by my closest friends, family, and Jernee too. They provide affection, arms quickly outstretched for the longest and tightest hugs, and listening ears for moments that require venting.
I am blessed enough to have willing minds and competent people eager to gift me forgiveness if I need it. I also extend an olive branch whenever necessary. Knowing that our mistakes or hasty decisions can be acknowledged, sorted through, approached like sensible adults for discussion, and forgiven is a balm. It keeps some anxiety at bay.
I Appreciate The Little Things
They get me through my toughest days. An encouraging text message, a meal courtesy of one of my friends or family members, an offering of poetry, or just an in-depth conversation. My immediate needs are met or exceeded. I know some things are not a given and tragedy can strike and shift my level of comfort at any moment.
The exchange at the beginning of this essay is one between myself and a displaced man not far from my neighborhood. The temperatures have dropped here in North Carolina earlier than expected and our local homeless shelters are at max capacity nearly every night.
On a cold Friday morning in November, I picked up a coffee and two bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits from one of my favorite breakfast spots. Without hesitation, I stopped to ask the man if he’d like a breakfast biscuit and without missing a beat, he said to me, “Sweetheart, are you giving me your breakfast?” I instantly thought: “If I were, I will eat later. Don’t worry about me.”
But, he did.
While shivering, standing on a busy corner, and requesting those of us in the workforce, heading to our respective places of employment see him. He wanted to be sure I was not giving him my last. I assured him that I wasn’t and again offered the breakfast biscuit.
Our simple exchange was another reminder that life can hand you a few faulty hands and at any given moment, the life you are accustomed to can change. I know where he is. It is not much, but I’ll be sure to pick up an extra coffee, fruit, and hot sandwiches or biscuits for him.
It is easy for us to take for granted the common luxuries of life; food, water, a roof over our heads, clothing, and shoes for our feet. If we are even luckier, we have stable jobs, a steady paycheck, comparable health insurance benefits, and people who love and care for us.
I know the importance of waking up every day and thanking God for each breath I take. It does not go unnoticed.
I appreciate my life and every struggle for stability and comfort. It has turned into a balanced diet of love, forgiveness, friendship, and family. I know that without these things, I would not have the strength to face my hardest days. Without these things, I would find myself sinking yet again.
I count my blessings and I am forever grateful.
©2019 Tremaine L. Loadholt
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