The 5 Surprises of Being an Ally
Hint: you don’t have to be loud, just proud
I was the least likely candidate for speaking out, but the surprise of my daughter coming out led me to the five surprises below. This essay is dedicated to all the introverts who think deeply and empathize lovingly, but wonder if there is a place for you among the more vocal proponents for Love.
Surprise #1: Being an Ally can be quiet and intimate
In my case, my first steps to becoming an ally happened around my own dining room table while listening to a young college student describe her experience in discovering, hiding, and eventually revealing her attraction to other women. This part of becoming an ally involved learning how to be a safe and accepting place, and extending compassion for the journey she had been on. I didn’t always do this well, and it feels weird to claim this as some accomplishment, since that student was my daughter, and I was simply being a parent.
There was a lot of learning involved — first and foremost, on how to listen. After years of having straight opinions, I discovered I needed to work on my listening skills. I had to set aside what I had been told about “them” (mostly by other straight people) and listen to her experience. I’m still working on being a good listener which…
