Feminism, Self-Worth, Becoming

“Am I Worthy? Is The Wrong Question

Don’t start by giving all your power away to some arbitrary other.

“Am I worthy?” It’s a question that weighs on the minds of many women, but it’s also a question that deserves scrutiny.

On the surface, it seems to reflect an earnest attempt at self-assessment. But beneath that veneer lies a framing that undermines your autonomy, imposes artificial limits, and perpetuates harmful mindsets. Let’s explore why this question is fundamentally flawed — and what you can ask instead.

Why “Am I Worthy?” Is the Wrong Question

It Implies Others Decide Your Value

When you ask “Am I worthy?” you place your sense of self-worth in the hands of external entities. This framing assumes someone else — a boss, a partner, society at large — has the authority to measure your worth and determine your place in the world.

The problem? External judgments are often arbitrary and inconsistent, varying wildly based on subjective preferences, biases, and societal norms. By giving others the power to decide your worth, you’re anchoring your self-perception to forces you can’t control. This breeds insecurity and…