BDSM with Limitations
Exploring BDSM Options for People with Chronic Pain
I went to a party (this was pre-Covid 19) and I met up with a charming person that I know, there was a dungeon set up for those who are inclined to partake in BDSM activities. We decided to go have some fun in the dungeon, with me topping my charming friend with long flowing waist length hair on the St. Andrews Cross. I did not bring my own toys this time, however I was able to borrow some floggers and a paddle. I will also mention that I have fibromyalgia and the pain is the worst in my arms, wrists, and hands (I do have a lot of pain all over the body in general though). In other words, I have some limitations.
However, after that night I realized that I probably will not ever pick up a regular flogger again unless I am picking it up to look at it and admire it. My fibromyalgia seems to be getting worse, so I was not able to have good control of the flogger and I was left with an extraordinary amount of pain after it was all said and done. I put the flogger down and ended up finding a small whip which worked well for me and I was able to control it a lot better than the flogger. I used the wooden paddle for a small amount of time also, but it was much heavier than my own personal leather paddle which was at home. I ended up using my fingernails too, but I ended up cutting my session short because of the pain.
My first inclination was to be bummed and to feel like a failure. I looked like I did not know how to use a flogger in front of a bunch of people because I was not able to control it that well. I have been using a flogger off and on for several years and I had been trained in impact play by a Master and a sadist that had been a part of the community for many years. I was sad to say that I had come to the realization that it was time to hang up the flogger for good this time. However, I was able to borrow a small whip, that gave me hope and inspiration. Also, my toys at home gave me inspiration too. My mini flogger and my leather paddle because I can control them. It made me realize that there is a whole big world of kinks and BDSM out there and new doors just waiting to be opened, for me to explore. I know it is cliché’ and all but don’t they say when one door closes another one opens? Also, if you keep an open mind sometimes the door that opens has brand new and exciting opportunities on the other side.
So, for all of you out there that struggle with pain, health issues and limitations do not get discouraged or give up on BDSM. Find different toys that you can work with. Another option is to investigate a kink you have always been interested in but have never fully explored or possibly try going down a different path. I am a switch and because of this experience I am going to start exploring my submissive side a little bit more. Of course, I do not want to totally give up on my dominant side though because I am most comfortable with that side. I have honed and finely tuned it for so many years now. I think for now it is just time for a little bit of a change. Sometimes change can be scary and it takes us out of our comfort zone. After it is all said and done it is usually for the better especially if it is a positive change. I am now starting to understand that the key is in the mindset, having a positive attitude and a willingness to learn, these things all go a long way in the BDSM & kink community.
