How having a friend in your mom can help you change for the better
When my brother was 6 years old he gave my mom a small music box that played a Toy Story Song “You’ve Got a Friend In Me.” She kept it on her nightstand constantly gushing over how much she loved the gift, often singing along to the melody and serenading us at bedtime. I never really understood why, until I reached my teenage years.
There was a time in my life when I didn’t value my family’s love. They didn’t seem interesting to me and I simply didn’t understand why they mattered. I was pretty difficult with my parents and had constant disagreements with them. I have to admit, I wasn’t the easiest person to get along with either, after all, this also started affecting my closest friendships.
Whenever I had a friend, whom I considered to be my best friend, it wasn’t uncommon for us to split ways at the end of the academic year. It caused me incredible pain, especially as I believed there might be something wrong with me. Nevertheless, I would try to console myself by believing it was simply because they couldn’t quite adjust to my unique personality.
One year everything felt a little sadder. In 6th grade, I had a new amazing best friend, and I was determined to make every effort to avoid suffering another loss or fatal separation.
In this process, I began to idolize her, shaping myself into the person she wanted me to be and ended up changing for the worse. I became completely lost in other aspects of my life, frequently lashing out at my family, as they were the only ones with whom I didn’t have to pretend. Yet, despite my ongoing self-change, prioritizing her friendship over the course of two years, she ended up leaving me anyway.
I recall coming home after school, crying, running to find my mom, and begging her to let me transfer to another school. What was most surprising was how quickly she agreed without needing any explanations.
As she hugged me at that very moment, a barrage of images passed through my mind, revealing all the times I had been unkind to my family. Even in the flash of the memories, I felt my mother’s arms around my back, gently rubbing, perhaps to help soothe some of the pain from an incident she didn’t even know about. I had neglected my family, my mother, for those 2 fake years, and when I needed them most, they embraced me with the warmest hug they could muster without hesitation.
In the middle of my disorganized thoughts, I realized that family is the only one who is, and will always be, consistent in our lives.
I get it. I’m a teen too, at our age, dealing with our parents can be difficult. We want to explore, be free, try new things, fit in, and feel like we are being heard. But have you stopped to consider that maybe we’re not giving them the easiest time either?
When I decided to make my family a priority and tried to understand their point of view, I receive more than just a family, I receive friends who stuck by me through all my adventurous walks in life. Friends who gave me happiness beyond what I thought I could receive; my number one fans; my most supportive critics; and a matchless group of individuals.
That’s the song’s conspiring heart-touching significance to my mother. She adored it so much and shared it with us because she wanted to make sure we knew we could find an unconditional friend in her.
So, from the numerous lessons my mom has taught me throughout my life: “Ayo makan kalo nga, kamu nga tumbuh loh,” which translates to “Eat, if not, you won’t grow;” “It is scientifically proven that if you don’t sleep enough you’ll act delirious in the morning;” “Sugar is terrible for the liver, here, drink celery juice to cure it;” this was the most important one of all. And, as my unmatched reward for merely paying attention to her advice, I found in them my forever pals.
