Who am I, really? I’ve always wondered about that.
Having good friends who help you find yourself is one of the best things you can have. Friendship is so important, don’t think I would’ve reached where I am today without the friends I have with me.
Having strong and lasting friendships may sound easy, but in reality, it is so much more difficult than one may think! By building good connections with other people, I have opened my mind to many new experiences and ideas. I hope this article will help you, the reader, to create stronger bonds with your friends, helping you to build special relationships that will last a lifetime.
Communication
Communication is one of the most essential factors in having a good relationship and bond with a friend, and there are many levels towards achieving this. For some, communication may involve only a basic level — talking about your day or simple conversation starters. However, a deeper level of conversation is where you open up to each other, sharing more personal thoughts and feelings. This is usually not so easy to do with others because it involves vulnerability and trust. This meaningful level of communication is essential and brings relationships to another level. However, high-quality, caring communication does take practice.
A Story
I would like to share a true story about how one person’s actions affected her negatively and, unfortunately, others around her as well. Emma had been a girl who had lots of friends. She was sociable with everyone and always open to meeting new people and hanging out with them everywhere she went. Lots of people enjoyed Emma’s company.
As she moved into her last years of middle school, Emma started to feel the need to become more popular; she wanted to feel more accepted and loved by others. With this in mind, she made it her goal to become part of the most popular group in her grade, which could have been a good thing, depending on how she did it. Unfortunately, her way was that whenever someone from the popular group said something, Emma would simply nod and agree with them, even though she may not have thought it was right. Emma also started hanging out with them as much as possible, and she began copying whatever they did — for example, going out to big parties, the kind she wasn’t allowed to go to.
So that the popular group would like her, Emma started to neglect all her old friends, with whom she had once created such strong bonds. She became less caring and, instead, more hurtful and judgemental. Sadly, she ended up pushing all of her old friends away.
Emma’s personality was changing, and even with the popular group, she eventually started to get into arguments. After some time, they broke up, and Emma lost her place with the popular group. Thus, Emma neither had her new friends nor her old friends to be with; she had no one to go to and no one to support her.
Learning from my mistakes
We are all trying to learn how to make and keep true friends, but as I said, it takes time and work. I’ve made many mistakes along the way, but I have learned how to keep my friends close through it all. I can say that I have formed such strong bonds with my friends, which I would not have been able to do had I not learned from my mistakes.
Quality time together, not just quantity time
A couple of days ago, I was scrolling through TikTok and came across an adorable video of a mother who took time out of her Fridays to have “Mommy and Me” times with her daughter. Every Friday, her daughter would choose a fun activity for them to do, and they would both have so much fun just talking to each other and creating a strong bond, which is crucial for kids to have with their parents. We should all apply this concept in our friendships because taking time out of our day to be with them gives us opportunities to create the bonds that will help our friendships grow and grow.
Having quality time is extremely important, as it allows deeper connections to be formed between you and your friend. Quality time includes being interactive: going to a museum together, playing at an arcade, going for a stroll in the park, and so many other exciting things that can be gadget-free.
True friendship involves regularly spending quality time with the person and being there for them in any situation, good or bad. It means creating a bond where both are so comfortable that they feel their friend is someone to trust and to whom they can tell anything and everything.
Be a good listener: show you are interested
To be a good listener, you need to have appropriate body language. Matching the emotions shown on your face with your friend’s feelings, demonstrates empathy. To show you are paying attention, how you sit can tell the person how much of what they’re saying you are paying attention to. Sitting upright with your body facing the other person, along with caring eye contact and nodding, shows you understand what they are saying.
For example, If the person you are talking to is upset about something, you will definitely not be smiling, but if you show you care, you might portray a concerned face to indicate that you empathise with them. You can also repeat or rephrase what they have said to demonstrate your understanding and interest and to expand on what they are saying, or you can even ask them about it so they can elaborate.
If you do not know how to communicate with others, that can have a very negative effect on you in the long run, affecting so many things in your life. One problem that is happening right now is with online friendships. If people only have friends online, what will happen to them in the real world? It is very important to have real friends you can meet up with and talk to face to face, as it boosts your happiness and social skills.
Conclusion
As a teenager, self-discovery is an essential part of life. For example, you are beginning to explore and discover more and more things about yourself, your hobbies, interests and purpose in life. Having friendships is a great, even essential, way to learn about yourself: your values, strengths, weaknesses, etc.
Your friends can help you challenge yourself to be the best version of yourself. They can also provide emotional support, guidance, and, very importantly, a sense of belonging and security.
Throughout my journey of building new relationships and making new friends, I have learned a lot about what it takes to be a good friend — communicating well with friends especially through tough times, spending quality time with them and listening to them when something is wrong and helping them with their problems. All these things are what it takes to be a good friend, and once you understand how to use these tools and adapt to them, you will end up having so many more friends than you can imagine.
