#22 __ the venue

thunderfunking
outer ] [ space
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4 min readFeb 16, 2019

The crowd, music, and venue — also known as the who, what, and where — are the holy trinity of the party, each of them equally important. Of these three, the venue is the one constant through the night. The music changes from moment to moment. The composition of the crowd evolves over the course of the evening. But a bad venue never gets better.

This is what was on my mind last Saturday at the Brooklyn Bazaar. The music was great in every room I tried. The crowd was stiff, but workable — gradually loosening over time. All that’s left was the venue.

In theory, the Bazaar should be glorious for this party with seven different rooms spanning every genre. Countless places to rest and people-watch. An arcade with food. Coat check. Security isn’t breathing down your neck. Plenty of bathrooms. Multiple bars.

But.

BUT!

  1. Flow

So many narrow hallways, staircases, and doorways. It doesn’t matter how big the dancefloors are with chokepoints like these. People find themselves caught when traveling around the venue, which is the natural tendency in such a large and sprawling space with so many styles of music to offer. It’s particularly bad in this venue, as there is one spot that connects the entire venue, a nexus point between 2 separate stairways, 2 multi-purpose rooms with bars and dance floors, and the entrance to the venue. It’s a proper clusterfuck.

It creates a feeling a frustration and claustrophobia. It discourages exploration and curiosity. It generates negative interactions with people as you squeeze and squirm your way from one point to another — they become obstacles rather than comrades. It’s one thing to wait in line, but far worse to wait in line just to reach another line.

2. Carpets

They’re everywhere. They’re old. They make the whole place feel like a cheap movie theater and they smell like your grandma’s basement. And if there’s one easy vibe killer for any party, it’s the pervasive smell of mold and must, which is particularly strong in the basement. It’s funny, because I’ve been to a hundred parties that were rank as hell with the stench of BO and cigarettes, but that’s, y’know, appropriate. Carpets and dance parties just don’t go together.

3. Mirrors

There’s one stairwell in the middle of the venue that’s covered in mirrors and flooded with incandescent light, which gives you a complete & unflattering view of your whole body as you ascend. In some rooms, there are columns and pillars with top-to-bottom mirrors. One of the dance floors has mirrors all along with walls. They’re everywhere, a kind of cheap method of making the space feel bigger, and it creates all these moments where you catch your reflection and it’s not welcome. I don’t want to see myself, to suddenly become self-conscious or worried about what I look like. I want to be focused on everything else but that. Mirrors can be a great tool for making a space feel bigger, but when used indiscriminately, they’re outright disconcerting.

4. Identity

Most venues have at least one great feature. Sometimes it’s a visual setpiece to behold as you walk in the door. Maybe it’s an overarching theme that courses through the space, a consistent ethos or aesthetic that gives some sense that this place has been designed with intent, that there is a reason to pay attention or be curious about your surroundings. It could just be that it has a dope-ass sound system. Whatever it is, it’s one thing that when you talk about that space with your friends, you’ll all nod your heads in begrudging concession about that one thing,

Every venue has its share of problems — but Brooklyn Bazaar simply doesn’t have anything to love to overcome its flaws. Nothing to latch on to, to make you feel like someone cares about the space and your experience in it. It can still be host to amazing experiences, as it did once for me — but it will be in spite of the venue, rather than because of it.

There’s much more I intend to write about venues over time, but I’ll leave it here for now.

Thank you so much for reading.

Next weekend is Ambient Church, followed by another bass party with reconstrvct.

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