Allies vs. Accomplices
A guide on how to do and be better at supporting anti-oppression work
“If you have come here to help me you are wasting your time, but if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.” — Lilla Watson: Indigenous Australian artist, scholar and activist.
An ally is someone who simply supports a cause. While important, it is not the final step in the work towards ending oppression. Allies lend their support to individuals, donate money and call out oppression when it is convenient for them, and in ways that are convenient for them.
The big problem with allyship is that it can easily be done for brownie points and is very susceptible to commodification.
Here are two examples of an Ally:
Picture a man named Adam wearing a “The Future is Female” shirt that was made by indigenous women overseas for much less than a living wage. Adam loves his shirt because it gets him extra attention from women on Tinder. He once donated $40 to Planned Parenthood because he really appreciated the fact that his ex was able to get a cheap abortion a few years ago. He loves the label of “Feminist” when it gets him dates, but he doesn’t really bother to call out his male friends on their sexist remarks if no women are around.
While he generally supports the #MeToo movement, some of his friends in college were accused of sexual assault yet he never did anything about it because of “Bro code”. Adam works for a company where all senior management are men, never questioning those practices.
Adam’s existence does nothing to end rape culture, domestic violence or other patriarchal structures in America, and his purchase of “Feminist” labeled commodities actually support the oppression of women overseas. He can reap the benefits of the label of “ally” without having to do much of anything. He supports Feminism when it benefits him, but he isn’t willing to do anything that would inconvenience him. We all know an Adam.
Now picture a woman named Lucy. She loves Hip Hop and is very proud of the fact that she is attracted to Black men and votes Democrat in every election. She posts a lot about Black Lives Matter and even goes to marches when her schedule is open. Because she does these things, Lucy believes she deserves a cookie from Black people for acknowledging their basic human rights.
She gets frustrated at all the “Karen” and “Becky” stereotypes and takes them very personally because in her mind, her own personal comfort is more important than giving Black people space to vent their experiences with white supremacy. She feels a little defensive when people talk about gentrification because she came from a middle-class background. She feels like she earned her right to move to a historically Black neighborhood in a major American city.
Lucy sometimes feels guilty about her Whiteness and channels it into arguing with Trump supporters she has never met on Facebook. She tries to talk with some of her racist family members sometimes, but gets too annoyed at them to continue for very long. Although she values diversity and knows a lot of Black people, she isn’t really close with any. Sometimes her boss makes racist remarks but she doesn’t speak up because she is working towards a promotion at the job- the job she was selected for over a Black candidate who grew up in the area she moved to after college. We all know a Lucy.
Both Adam and Lucy claim the role of “ally,” but their existence doesn’t really do anything to stop oppressive structures. They are able to continue reaping the benefits of these oppressive structures while feeling good about themselves for not being outwardly oppressive.
An accomplice is someone who is actively working to dismantle oppressive systems. They are willing to make sacrifices for the cause and speak up even when it puts them in danger. They question oppressive practices at work and check their friends every single time they hear something questionable. They find a niche in anti-oppression work that they can take part in and make life-long contributions.
Lets revisit Adam and Lucy as Accomplices:
Let’s picture Adam moving towards becoming an accomplice to dismantling patriarchy. Adam starts going to therapy and learning more of the socioemotional skills he was socialized away from as a young boy. He reads up on Feminist literature and takes some of his female friends out to lunch to hear them out on Feminist issues. He commits to unlearning the aspects of masculinity that hurt women. He realizes that at times he has used the women in his life for sex or emotional support without giving them much in return, and is taking steps to change that.
He helps some of his male friends get set up with therapists, and starts conversations with his male friends about rape culture, helping them become more accountable to learning about effective consent. He volunteers his time regularly as a clinic escort to help women feel more comfortable on their way to receive reproductive care. He shares his salary with his female coworkers and uses his position of power to put pressure on his bosses to hire more women.
Adam starts an initiative at his job to direct some of the company’s income towards low income victims of domestic violence, harassment and sexual assault. Instead of purchasing Feminist commodities from corporations, he finds local female artists to purchase from, even though their prices are higher. He always welcomes feedback from women and understands becoming a better man is a lifelong process — he learns to keep his ego in check and thus is able to better support the women in his life and have more fulfilling interpersonal relationships.
Now let’s picture Lucy moving on from allyship to accomplice. She reads up on Black liberation literature and realizes that a lot of her behavior has been messed up, and commits to doing better. She finally realizes that liking Black men isn’t a personality trait, and attending marches is not the end of her duties towards Black liberation.
She calls out racism in the workplace and quits when she realizes nothing is changing. She does regular skill shares with BIPOC and recommends them to her network for job opportunities and access to resources. She mentors Black youth who are interested in her area of expertise. She educates herself on conflict resolution and learns more tools to use to speak with her racist family members.
She attends community board meetings in order to support and learn from the initiatives of Black community members. She no longer gets defensive when she gets constructive feedback from the Black people in her life or hears a Black person complain about White supremacy, because she understands that marginalized people need space to vent and she can learn from the experience. As a result, she becomes closer to Black people in her community and is able to learn even more ways to better support. Her life is richer and she no longer feels guilty or isolated from her community.
In both cases in their move from ally to accomplice, Adam and Lucy made sacrifices and put in the time to begin doing the work of dismantling oppressive systems. They aren’t perfect but they are working on it and making a commitment to learn and grow.
They took time to educate themselves and make sure the work they were doing was aligned with the needs of marginalized people. They began shifting their time, money and resources towards oppressed groups, even when it put their job at risk or took time out of their schedule. Adam and Lucy started making efforts to support agendas set by oppressed people, instead of just what made them feel or look good.
They did the spiritual and emotional work of developing ways to stop taking critique from oppressed groups personally and began to view it as an opportunity for learning and growth. Adam was able to develop more of the socioemotional skills that the patriarchy robbed him of, and improve his mental health and relationships. Lucy was able to get rid of her white guilt through action and become more true to her values. Both gained a deeper sense of connection and meaning in their lives.
While moving towards becoming an accomplice can be a lot of work, it is ultimately deeply rewarding and helpful to the success of any liberation movement. Because people with privilege tend to only listen to other people with privilege, accomplices also play a necessary role in shifting the zeitgeist towards a more free and just world. The burden of removing oppression should not have to fall solely on the oppressed, and accomplices help ease that burden.
More resources on becoming an accomplice:
