The Four Tenants Of The Realistic Rom Com
As illustrated by Taika Waititi’s ‘Eagle vs Shark’
Taika Waititi’s Eagle vs Shark (2007) is a spectacular example of a certain sub-genre of romantic comedy: the rom com for realists.
There’s a long cinematic tradition of big budget romantic comedies in which everything (or most things) turn out alright in the end, and this isn’t to diss the appeal of those types of movies. Sometimes we crave the escapism of a light-hearted fairy tale. The painful awkwardness of courtship can be offset with a few quips from a wise-cracking best friend. The insecurity and uncertainty of love is mitigated by the obvious lovability of the characters. They might have an unlikable moment here or there, but they don’t generally display a consistently unlikable flaw. And even if they harbor a deep-rooted fear of being alone, at best we’ll be witness to a one-minute (tops!) monologue about their vulnerability. By story’s end, we’re usually guaranteed that the main characters will wind up together or, if not, they’re at least poised for romantic success moving forward.
Yes, we know that love doesn’t really work the way it’s depicted in those kinds of flicks. Realistic rom coms like Eagle vs Shark are a lot more cringe-worthy — because they’re a lot more like real life. So let’s break down the ways in which the realistic rom com differs from its glossier, more idealized counterpart.
1. The Characters/Actors Aren’t Shellacked Within An Inch of Their Lives.
The actors in a realistic rom com can still be perfectly attractive people. The difference with physicality in this type of movie is that the actors don’t serve as second fiddle to their own abs or toothpaste-commercial-worthy smiles. We might actually get to see a stomach hanging out over a waistband, or a makeup free moment. There’s often an absence of designer wardrobes or keen fashion sense, in part because these characters are presumably on a budget of some sort (see Tenant #2), and because they’re probably distracted by more pressing matters beyond their outfit choice — like, say, how to avoid being perpetually humiliated by life.
In Eagle vs. Shark, Lily (Loren Horsley) and Jarrod (Jemaine Clement) first hook up while wearing their respective eagle and shark costumes at Jarrod’s “Dress As Your Favourite Animal” themed party. (Noooooo, it’s not a super sexy look for either of them, in case you’re wondering.) But that’s the point. Real life doesn’t come with flattering lighting or a soft focus filter or a stylist to lovingly dress you. Not to mention, if sweatpants were an insurmountable barrier to love, most of us would be screwed (and not in the fun way).
2. The Characters Aren’t Immersed In Cool Jobs And Piles Of Disposable Income and Other Life Perks.
In Eagle vs Shark, Lily works as a fast food cashier, and Jarrod works in a video store. Jarrod doesn’t even own a car, which leads to his reliance on Lily and her brother to carry out a spectacularly weird revenge caper that Jarrod has planned. But it’s precisely because there’s no dream job or seemingly bottomless bank account for these characters that the romantic stakes are raised. They don’t have much else going for them. Against a backdrop of life’s harsher realities, the prospect of love becomes all the more valuable. It becomes something to chase and cling to — maybe even desperately.
3. The Main Characters Make Us Uncomfortable.
Jarrod is a liar, a killjoy, and indifferent to Lily’s interest in him throughout most of the movie. Meanwhile, Lily is less of a “catch” than the traditional rom com heroine who routinely sports flawless hair, a quick wit and a solid career path. Yet Lily isn’t obsessing over all the ways in which she’s undeserving of love. She furthermore defies just about every rule we’re taught to adhere to when dating. She’s openly interested in Jarrod, and she’s not the “wait three days to call (or text) back” type, either. It’s like she’s wholly unaware that you have to play the field and play hard to get. (We have to do that, right? Because who wants to be tarred with the “desperate” brush? It is about desperation, and not the necessary vulnerability that love requires, isn’t it?)
The irony is that the realistic rom com gives its characters permission to be romantics, without adhering to the usual assumptions about desirability. It also gives characters permission to be wholly vulnerable, even if that’s part of what makes it all so painful to watch.
4. We’re Not Even Sure We Want To See The Characters Hook Up In The End.
Because characters like Lily and Jarrod are highly flawed, we might question whether their winding up in a relationship is a good thing or not. But here’s where the realistic rom com becomes subversively brave. It challenges our notion of the perfect relationship. It can even challenge our most basic self expectations.
Since the dawn of the advertising age, we’ve been trained to constantly perfect ourselves. Whiter teeth, a sculpted body, a flashier car and so on became things to strive for. And a certain amount of career success is generally viewed as a golden ticket to the American dream. With so much potential to be fulfilled, how dare we underperform? At the same time, we’ve been raised on a steady diet of divorce statistics and a subsequent cynicism about love and marriage. Quick fix dating apps and their online shopping cart approach to selecting prospective partners have further shaped a lot of our expectations about love, even for those who aren’t playing the online field. We’re supposed to swipe left (either literally or figuratively) and move on quickly, before things feel even slightly awkward or imperfect in any way. Is it any wonder we don’t really know what to expect of ourselves, or each other, anymore?
We’ve been taught not to “settle.” We certainly don’t want to be martyrs or victims when it comes to love. But the trouble is that we don’t want to be alone, either. And that’s not a bad thing. That’s a human thing.
The realistic rom com gets right in there and wrestles with that highly uncomfortable aspect of our humanity, without sugar-coating our prospects. It also presents a basic truth about love: that you have to be willing to make an ass of yourself, and be open to the prospect of a less-than-perfect partner in turn, if you want a real shot at it.
