Crash! Goes the rock through my living room window

Robert McKeon Aloe
Overthinking Life
Published in
4 min readJun 28, 2019

The sound of a rock, the size of a large encyclopedia, crashing through a window sounds like a car accident. We were all very much surprised by the rock, and as the story unfolded, it just got weirder.

I was in eighth grade, and I had some friends, but friends in junior high always seemed flaky.

When I was in sixth grade, I was best friends with Barry. We were hanging out constantly, and we were both new to the area. Then one day, his stepmom called and said I was no longer welcome at their house. His stepsister said I snapped her bra strap, and good for her parents to give her the benefit of the doubt. The reality was that Barry was doing that, not me. I couldn’t argue though. It was my word against hers, and I understand how her parents would default to protect her.

Back to eighth grade, I had friends in different circles, but mostly acquaintances. There were quite a few people I would chat with at school, but we wouldn’t hang out together after school, like Billy. I saw Billy in the halls or at lunch. I can’t remember if we even had a class together, but he was nice to talk to.

One day at lunch, Billy asked me if my house got rolled (i.e. toilet paper rolled). It hadn’t, but a few other houses had on my street had been TP’d. He said he heard rumors about people toilet papering my neighborhood.

What a goof ball, and I promptly forgot about it. I was just glad I didn’t have to clean up that kind of mess.

Two weeks later, I was upstairs in the game room playing Golden Eye as per usual. I was locked into whatever mission I was on. I played that N64 to pieces; the original remote doesn’t function as well as …

BOOM!

I don’t remember if I heard the breaking glass, but I certainly felt and heard the rock hitting the hardwood floor. We were all startled and started to investigate. The rock was an garden wall rock weighing 30 lbs.

My dad called the police. Luckily, the rock went through the living room window. The room itself had two nice white couches that we rarely used. So infrequent was our use, I can remember the two conversations I had on that couch: one with mom and one with grandpa. Suffice to say, nobody got hurt.

Commence Weirdness

The police came and were taking a statement from my parents. For some reason, I thought of calling Billy because he had said this whole toilet paper story. I said, “maybe the cops will pull fingerprints from the rock.” I had been watching a lot of Law & Order at that point, and I was talking out of my ass. The excitement of the situation was thrilling.

Suddenly, Billy told me he was just about to call me; what a coincidence. He was riding bikes with Barry and ran into two muscular jocks in ski masks dressed in black with gloves. They said “Hey kid, catch this rock!” The two masked men threw the rock at them, and they both caught the rock. The men then demanded the boys to throw the rock back to them.

Unfortunately, I had not developed a bullshit detector nor did I suspect they might have been the culprits themselves. Unfortunately for them, I went outside and excitingly told the police officer the new lead, and I was told by him and my family that I had been played. The officer went to their house, and they quickly admitted their guilt.

I’m not sure why I didn’t feel anger towards them. I honestly didn’t understand why they did it, and I still don’t know why. They paid for the window to be fixed, and luckily the floor was under warranty. They came over with their parents, and my mother dressed them down a bit, particularly Barry’s parents. That’s when they admitted the allegations against me from years prior were lies. I felt a sadness that a blossoming friendship, which made me feel normal in a new town and middle school, was destroyed.

Oddly enough, I still talked to Billy in school. Barry avoided me wholesale, and the story quickly faded. My bullshit meter learned a valuable lesson that day, and I’m grateful to have not held on to any serious resentment as a result of an event outside of my control.

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Robert McKeon Aloe
Overthinking Life

I’m in love with my Wife, my Kids, Espresso, Data Science, tomatoes, cooking, engineering, talking, family, Paris, and Italy, not necessarily in that order.