Sports without the Emotional Hangover
From the start, watching sports was about the emotion. It was exciting to win or to lose. Ultimately, sports had the power to change the way I felt, and I enjoyed it. However, there came a time when the emotional hangover after one too many loses caused me to rethink the way I emotionally invest in sports.
In the beginning, God created football
My entry into sports viewing was in the 6th grade. Previously, I had watched some Michigan college football games with my dad, but I didn’t know the rules or the other teams. 1995 was a different year. I learned all the rules, and I started watching 3 or 4 games on Sunday. I picked the teams I liked (Packers, 49ers, Lions, and Raiders) and teams that I didn’t like (Cowboys).
I really didn’t like the Cowboys because some kid who was mean to me at school loved them. I was also living in Texas, so hating the Cowboys ran contrary to the culture and America. During the the 90’s, the Cowboys were America’s team.
When the 49ers beat the Cowboys really bad that year, I tore into this kid named Jake. Jake would go on and on about the Cowboys. He was a real fan boy. The final score was 38 to 20, but at half time it was 31 to 7. Jake had the last laugh though because the Cowboys won it all that year. However, in the moment, the excitement of the game wasn’t just watching it but arguing about it, reliving, re-feeling it.
The next year, my team at the time, Green Bay, went all the way. I was so excited, and I felt like I had chose the winning team to invest emotionally. However, one doesn’t gamble emotionally to win, just like gambling addicts. Winning never feels as intensely or for so long as losing. Losing really makes you feel different, and I didn’t have to wait too long for that.
The next year, Green Bay lost to the stupid Denver Broncos and John Elway (increasing the number of teams on my shit list by one). I had a Super Bowl party that year. I felt certain in victory even though it was a close game. I felt so embarrassed that my team lost and for the fact that I cried and wailed about the injustice to people who laughed that I could take something so seriously.
Later when I lived in Detroit, I became a regular Lions fan. I learned early on that they could play a great 3 quarters, but they could never quite get the last one. They kicked too many field goals and had too many penalties. This was the most realistic I had ever viewed any of my sports teams, and I enjoyed games that I knew the Lions would lose.
For the Love of Baseball
Most of my friends in school didn’t care for sports, but there was a thrill to it for me. It changed the way I felt, and I liked the numbers aspect of these games. When picking a team, you roughly have a 1 in 30 chance of them winning their last game and being the best. Usually, the odds are far less. Even teams that do really well for a few years have down years too. I was unprepared for this emotional rollercoaster, but I still wanted to go on the ride.
I had casually watched baseball growing up, but the strike in the 90’s killed a lot of my interest for some reason. I did start watching again in 2004 as my Astros were doing pretty well. They finally won a playoff series, and I was thrilled. I started to pick up teams I liked and hated, just like in WWE wrestling where you have heroes and villains. I followed the scores of all the games everyday. It was quite a time investment.
2005 saw the Astros go to the World Series with some amazing baseball. I found I loved the series before the last series or the game before the last game because you knew whatever the result, there was another game. But for the last game, win or lose, the season is over. The excitement is gone.
Of course the Astros losing was no different than any other game where my team lost. I was crushed. I was crushed for weeks, and I had a lingering hatred towards the White Socks and the MLB commissioner for not letting them close the Minute Maid Park roof. I was mad at Roger Clemens for throwing 50 pitches in 2 innings, like I could do better.
Luckily, I was living Detroit, and a team that had sucked for 20 years decided they had had enough. 2006 was their year. I went to a number of games, I watched a bunch of tv, and I knew a good chunk of their roster (and their stats). I went to the ALCS game where Kenny Rogers dominated. He pitched such a fast game.
Then, the World Series. This time, the pain was incredible. I had never seen so many errors in baseball. Again, I was crushed. Luckily, the playoffs happened when I had just started in graduate school at Notre Dame, and their football team was on top of the world.
Golden Failure
Notre Dame football looked to be the ticket in the fall of 2006. It felt like they were going to win big. I went to all the home games, and I was enthralled with the tradition. They had a huge comeback against Michigan State, and it seemed for a time they had the right mix.
Then they played USC. Oh that damn USC. They got smoked. They looked like a junior college. I felt like God himself had cursed the team, but I still held faith that the next year would fix the problems. LSU killed them in the bowl game, but I wrote it off as an unimportant game.
Everyone said 2007 was a rebuilding year. We had a new quarterback who had never lost a game in high school, and we were going to do great. I didn’t heed anything of what people said about rebuilding. I had just recently become a Notre Dame fan, so I didn’t have good information. I was just betting all my emotions on this sport because all my other teams sucked.
On top of my optimism were front row seats. Somehow we had drawn great seats in the student lottery, and we filled them with our tears. We only won one home game that season, and I went to the Michigan game in Ann Arbor, so I got to see a lot of losing. We went 3–9, and it was the worst season since the 60’s.
The following season didn’t fair much better, and I was living with my soon-to-be wife. I was going to the games by myself because she didn’t like going, and I would come home tired, cold, and miserably sad. I would then be sad for the rest of the weekend and into the week. After a few games, she told me that I need to stop going to the games if I’m going to be this upset about them. They’re just football.
Just a Game
I heard what she was saying. She was saying that I left her for 5 hours to come back miserable, and she’d have to deal with that. Those games were making her life miserable. So that loser football coach and team gave me something that all the other loser teams didn’t give me: an opportunity to change, thanks to my wife of course.
I decided that I could not do the emotional rollercoaster of the game after the end of the game. It was fine to be excited during the game, but once it ended, it’s like the movie is over, and I go back to real life. How do I accomplish this goal?
Win or lose, I don’t care. I only want to see exciting games and series. What does that mean? Every game should go to overtime, and every series should go to the maximum number of games. Then at the end, I will have gotten excitement even if my team loses because usually, the difference between winning and losing is a few plays gone right or wrong.
The next years were fantastic. I got to watch the Red Wings and Penguins duke it out in the Stanley Cup two years in a row without being upset when my Red Wings lost. I got to see the Lions win at losing, going 0–16! The Detroit Tigers had gone again to the World Series in 2012 and lost again, but I wasn’t so upset. I got to enjoy sports in a whole new way, and they no longer interfered for days or weeks later.
Picking my team in the 7th Inning
We had kids, and after the first kid, I only watched the playoffs for my sports. After the second kid, I rarely watched a few minutes of whatever. My life had more important things, but I kept up.
Finally, in 2017, the Astros won the World Series. A dream come true. With the Astros, I hadn’t watched the playoff games. I forgot about the playoffs, but when they got to the last series, I watched every game. I had the same sports stoicism, and I wanted to see the series go to 7 games.
Game 7 arrived, and the Astros were clearly winning. At some point in the 7th inning, I stopped rooting for an exciting game. I just wanted my team to win, and I didn’t care anymore.
Side note: as I write this article, there is an investigation into the 2017 Astros, so I’m curious how that will turn out.
I don’t think I would have been crushed if they lost because I realize the Dodgers were just as good as them, but I certainly wanted my childhood baseball team to win it all.
If you want to use sports to change the way you feel post-game, gamble emotionally on their outcomes. If you’d care to try some sports stoicism, the games can be really exciting without the emotional hangover.
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Further readings of mine:
Staccato Espresso: Leveling Up Espresso
Learning how to drive in my 30's
How to run a marathon without training
LEGO’s: Stories of Destruction
