Don’t run from the hard stuff — use it as fuel for change.

We always want to run from the hard stuff. We want to resist the feelings of anxiety, depression, fear, guilt, frustration. We fight it. We reject it.

We crave joy. We want to feel love, abundance, brilliance, vibrancy, comfort, stability.

Why do we believe that one is better than the other? And maybe better yet, why do we feel that one is possible without the other?

Moments of strain are just as powerful as moments of peace.

The problem is not the pain itself. The problem is when we try to resist it.

Pain, fear, frustration, anxiety, depression — all rolled up into the “negative.” All necessary. Just as necessary as all of the feelings of the “positive.”

Let’s use a battery for an example. A battery has both a negative and a positive charge. Both are necessary for the battery to work, and in turn, the item that requires its charge. A chemical reaction occurs within the battery, igniting the negative charge to flow through the circuit to the lightbulb and then to the positive end of the battery. Without both, the battery does not function properly, and the battery is considered “dead.”

When the process is reversed, the battery recharges.

We humans are no different. We have a life experience that creates friction (chemical reaction). Those negative emotions build up (negative charge) and then flow through our body (the circuit). They are then released through action (the lightbulb), and in turn, create a sense of relief (the positive charge).

When that process is reversed, and we experience a life experience that starts with a positive, our energy gets “recharged.”

As you see, we need both positive and negative to function. Both energies, working together, have life, lessons and light within.

If we continue to resist the negative, it builds up. It has no release. It stays stuck within us, our relationships, our society, our world. If we took the time to allow space for it, to give it an opportunity to flow, we would immediately see the opportunity for release and eventually relief.

Think about a cathartic cry. When you allow yourself to cry…hard…really release it, in the end, you don’t feel more negative and more upset. You feel relief. You’ve allowed the emotions to flow and to physically move out of you.

If you choose not to have the cry, those feelings and emotions get stuck in your body. They build up inside of you. They become layers of anger, frustration, temper, anxiety. Those layers then lash out in every day experiences.

Sit with that for a while and notice where those layers show up in your own life. They are often extremely palpable within your own body and to everyone around you.

In today’s world, we are not only experiencing this on an individual level, but now widely as a whole humanity. We have a lot of negative layers that are surfacing. Layers that we can no longer ignore. Layers that highlight our pain in our physical health as a species, the health of the Earth, the health of our cultural relationships, etc.

We must give those layers space to surface and move through all of us. We must be willing to feel those negative emotions without resistance. From that place, we can take action that will make positive change.

And so, what is a realistic, actionable application of this? Where do we start? Three thoughts for your consideration…

1) Start with inner healing.

Change starts within. Instead of looking outward first, look inward. Reflect. Acknowledge the layers built up within your own body. Work on healing those first.

Do that through reading, journaling, connecting with others, working with a healer (therapist, energy worker, masseuse, coach, etc. ). Sit in the discomforts and commit to healing, learning and growing.

From that place, we can all better support the necessary healing of collective humanity.

2) Ask: “How is this happening FOR us?”

The pains of our collective human society and world have been overlooked for too long. We’ve resisted the discomforts of our existence in the pursuit of profits and personal desires. There’s nothing wrong with that because we’re all just on this journey of learning.

But our current reality is now showing us that we can no longer operate from that place.

Instead of looking at that through a lens of guilt and blame, we must accept what is and choose to acknowledge that the way we got here is NOT the way we are going to get “there.” Just like we cannot look at our personal negative emotions with blame, we cannot look at the negativity around our world with blame. We must say, “I see you. I hold space for you to be and to evolve. It’s ok for you to be where you are.”

We must collectively move forward. Our world is highlighting that the individual, self-focused reality that we’ve all been living does not work. We must look at life as a whole humanity. A whole world. All of us. Together. Not fighting. Not resisting. But rather acknowledging the pains that we’ve resisted for so long, accepting those pains, elevating them so that we can move forward, learn from them and emerge changed, from a loving place.

That all starts with one question, “How is all of this happening FOR us?”

From there, we can take action that truly moves the needle to a more evolved (and hopefully more enlightened) future.

3) Change your daily actions to change the world.

We cannot each individually change the world. But we can change our own experience, which in turn can collectively change the world.

As is the micro, so is the macro.

The big changes happen with the littlest of actions. Every day, we have an opportunity to change the way we live so that we can affect the whole.

In this moment, that looks like wearing masks when in public places and keeping social distance. It looks like choosing a more environmentally-sustainable option for our goods. It looks like daily choices to make ourselves, our families and our communities healthier. It looks like walking instead of driving. It looks like love and understanding over hate and blame. In every moment.

While all of this may seem “woo woo” or in favor of “utopia,” that is not the intent. Coming from a place of love, presence and acceptance is quite the opposite. It means embracing the positive AND the negative so that we can heal, learn and grow.

A happy life is not about resisting the hard stuff. It’s about choosing to embrace the hard stuff and use it as fuel for evolution.

“The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surroundings.” — Kakuzō Okakura, The Book of Tea