How We Make This Lifestyle Work

Three years ago, I wrote in my journal, “I just don’t want to do this alone.”

I was running my consulting business and struggling with the many challenges, fears and failures that come along with any business. I love the freedom of being out on my own. I love the creativity that grows from that freedom. I love the ownership and accountability. But I hated doing it all on my own. It’s not in alignment with my values. I whole-heartedly believe that most of the purpose of life is to share this experience…this long, winding journey…with others, especially those we love most.

Spending the majority of my time alone working toward singular goals was just not conducive to my best self.

At that time, though, I never imagined that the person I’d be partnering with would be my husband. But here we are three years later, working together and caring for our growing family and business.

But how did we get here? What happened over those three years to help us do what we’re doing?

Just like anything else in life, it’s taken a lot of focus, intention and hard work. Most of all, it’s required belief that it’s possible and an abundant mindset.

I’m not going to sit here and say that we put our wants and desires out to the Universe and that through the law of attraction, all of those dreams came true. No, as much as I wish that were true, it’s simply not the case. While we believe that like energy attracts like energy, you have to get that energy moving through action.

So how did we do it? What action did we take?

1. We talk about our big dreams and take them seriously.

Those deep desires…those are important to listen to. Instead of keeping them hidden or shrugging them off, we talk about them, no matter how big or unrealistic. Traveling around the world for a year? Check. Quitting jobs? Check. Buying real estate? Check. Starting a business? Check. Having children? Check. Doing all of it at the same time? Check. Check. Check.

The way we see it — we’re either going to spend our time figuring out how to do what we want or spend our time figuring out how to live life according to someone else’s vision. We choose our own. So when it comes to our dreams, hell yes we’re going to talk about them and take them very seriously.

2. We ask ourselves…”What would it take?”

Instead of letting our dreams remain dreams. We simply ask, “What would it take?”. We focus on solutions and start figuring out the logistics of every scenario. Luckily, my superpower is mapping out a plan from an abstract idea. I lay the foundation. And Phil’s superpower is taking that plan and executing beautifully on it until it’s a reality. Seriously, he’s one of the most incredibly persistent people I know.

A few summers ago, we had a long ride back to Ohio from Hilton Head. We were just finishing our business plan for The Assembly — a new restaurant concept we were working on. We had a dream to travel around the world before starting a family. And I was itching to start a family. On that ride home, we laid it all out on the table.

Over the next 12 hours, we asked ourselves, “What would it take?”. What would it take to start The Assembly? What would it take to travel the world? What would it take to start a family? We used the time to research and discuss high-level costs, timing and action items. It was nothing special…just a notebook, a pen and some Google searching on our phones.

We ended our discussion with a plan for each dream. We agreed that we’d go full force on The Assembly immediately to build our foundation in Columbus, that we’d start trying to have a child at the start of the new year and that we’d build travel into our lifestyle instead of needing to do it all at once.

Three years later and…

• The Assembly evolved over those three years, and after having Oryn and traveling with him, we agreed that a restaurant concept did not align with our values and lifestyle.
• Owl & Key was born during that same time and has supported our family, our creativity, our passion and our clients ever since.
• Oryn is 2…and we are onto the second due in April 2020!
• We extensively travel regularly and just returned from a three-week adventure in Mallorca, Spain.

3. We are realistic, and we budget!

This is the gold mine for us. When we got married in 2015, we built a shared budget. At the time, it was just for us to get aligned on our finances. As soon as we compiled our numbers, we immediately saw the potential for new opportunities. It started with buying our condos and selling the house we were in. From then on, our budget became the most important tool for making our dreams a reality.

Here’s what it does for us: it allows us to forecast how each scenario will affect our financial situation as a couple. It gives us answers to that question of “What’s it going to take?” It shows us our limits and informs our timing.

We now apply this same process to our business.

I’ve rarely found another couple or individual that does this work consistently. If you’re a couple or person that does…big time kudos! Because it’s hard and it takes time. It’s hard to build the first draft. It’s hard to set aside time to update it every month. And most importantly, it’s almost always hard to talk about finances with your partner. But all of that gets easier with practice. It’s a skill. Now that we’ve done this for years, we can whiz through the process each month, and we’ve become incredibly aligned on our shared finances.

Overall, the budget allows us to answer the questions: “Is this dream possible?” and “What’s it going to take?”.

4. Finally, we take action toward our goals…every day.

Per Phil’s post about our Franks Family Strategic Plan, we focus on where we’re trying to go and plan around it. Based on that plan, we sit down at the beginning of every week and plan out our individual and shared action items for the week. Those action items include everything from Owl & Key, to travel, to general “admin” tasks like grocery shopping and cleaning. This list allows us to work together to get things done and to hold each other accountable. We block times on our calendar for meetings and when each of us is going to get work time in. With the addition of Oryn, we have to be very thoughtful about who’s watching him and when. Because otherwise, we would both sit around and play with him….he’s kind of fun and wonderfully distracting like that. :)

So, friends, that’s how we’re doing it. We’re planning and taking action. Every day. It’s not rocket science. It’s just diligence and practice. It continues to evolve, but here’s what I’ve learned…

DREAMS ARE POSSIBLE!

We have more space and time than we ever thought possible to be with Oryn and the people we love most. We have time to be creative and to design the life that is most in alignment with who we are. We have personal time and together time. We’re better people. We have more time to invest in our people. We feel inspired most days. We’re challenged every day. And most importantly…

We’re spending our time doing this thing TOGETHER. Working toward our vision and putting ALL of our energy into our goals. And it feels so damn good to know that the energy we’re putting out there is all for a shared purpose.

At the end of this life, I’ll look back and know that the work we put in every day and every week allowed us to live a life worth remembering.

I’ll look back and smile that we got to spend so much time with the people we love most.

I’ll smile about our travel and all the new experiences that come with a business and a growing family.

I’ll have peace knowing that we gave it our all…as a team. I’ll know that it’s all worth it. All of it.

Because at the end of this life, I’ll have spent my time with the people I love, doing the things we love, and those shared experiences are invaluable.

With love, friends.

Krista