Fear Home by Colby Flade

Home.

Who am I without it?

The tilting desk chair in the upstairs bedroom, I sliced my kneecap on a nail sticking out of it running from something once. I bled so much. I saw bone. I think the scar is still there.

The creaking steps leading to the basement, where I once walked down in my sleep. I used to play here. It still smells the same. Just like I remember. I wish I remembered more.

The dead spider stuck to the ceiling of the bathroom. I look at it every time I shower and think about the day I killed it. I was so terrified, naked, vulnerable, wet. And there was the spider. Watching me. Still. I smacked it with a bottle of something. It died. I took a deep breath. I went on with my day.

That was over five years ago.
Five years. Feels like ten.

I can’t bring myself to clean it. It’s almost too familiar. So familiar that sometimes I forget it’s there.

Funny that even after all this time, I still gasp at the sight of it. Funny that it’s dead and I still get scared. Funny that sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, I see it move.
Funny how fear works.

Colby Flade (he/him) is a writer, performer, artist, and student who, publishing his debut book of poetry and short stories ‘The Smell of the Light Blue House in Summertime’ at the age of 19, brings a new element of creative writing to the table. When he is not studying, or working, or going to Starbucks with his sister, Colby is creating. He is the author of two (soon to be three) books, which are available on Amazon and Etsy, as well as at The Book Teller bookstore in Whitewater, Wisconsin. Flade currently resides in Northern Illinois, USA, where he was born and raised, and is constantly working on many new writing projects, so be sure to follow his journey and keep an eye out for any and all future publications. Find Colby on Instagram @theflade