Not OK by J. Bradley

I’m not OK. But who really should be right now? I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. The ZOOM meetings never end. The death count keeps rising. I wish I was more grateful that I’m not one of them.

My girlfriend, an OB/GYN, got it from one of the medical assistants at her office last June. The medical assistant decided to go out for drinks now that bars were open again in Florida. It was the one time my girlfriend wasn’t wearing her mask at the office.

The next day, I sludged through the wait and got tested by the state. I also took an at-home COVID test. My girlfriend apologized every day during our separate quarantine. I didn’t blame her. I hoped I would be the only one who died alone. But the symptoms never came for either of us. I got the at-home test result first on the final day of quarantine (negative). The state’s came back an hour later (positive). I was cleared.

The waiting for something to happen was the worst part. Every day waiting to lose my sense of smell, my throat closing, my body aching. The not knowing worse than the sickness itself.

Celebrating survival turned into medicated for my survival. And I hate what my bod had turned into. I know why I’m not that gratefulfor survivng. I’m already thinking about the next crisis. And the next. And the next.

J. Bradley is the author of Teenage Wasteland: An American Love Story (WhiskeyTit Books, 2021). He cartoons on Instagram @questionabledecisioncomics.