My Life, From 2012–2020
Please Stop Telling Me To Leave Him
I’m still with him because I can’t.
[Beginning note: this is what I’ll call a “retro-story” of sorts. It’s no longer true for me, but it was up until recently. The thoughts and feelings are still fresh.]
I married a dark man. That’s not surprising; I was in a dark place at the time we met, and we seemed to be a good match.
However, I had always assumed his darkness was like mine — benign, quirky, even somewhat endearing. It added the variety-spice-of-life to the world. I knew that was the extent of mine, and I thought that was the extent of his.
I remember the few distinct days on which I discovered that his darkness was different. It ran deeper, colder, and harder than mine.
The one I’ll tell you about was in the fall of 2012. That day, I discovered that he had lied about money — again. He had lied about finances in almost every way that a person can.
