A List of My Thoughts Before I Broke Up With You

Photo by Nick Fewings

Before I broke up with you:

I realized that I will inevitably write about you

I mourned the friendships that I’d lose along with you

I debated and made a pros and cons list

I considered going to get a degree in psychology to see if I could figure you out

I avoided seeing your parents

I stopped playing the victim

I started a box with your things to return to you

I practiced what I’d say to you, rehearsing the words over and over again until I knew them by heart

I tried to be grateful

I leafed through the thousands of pictures we’d taken together

I noticed the muscles in my back start to tighten when you would touch me

I convinced myself that breaking up was the best option for both of us

I braced myself for the loneliness I will feel without you in my life