A Vision Of Love
When It Comes To Love, A Vision Is Better Than A Checklist
Check Out The Soulmate Checklist
If you have ever explored the topic of how to find your soulmate, you have probably come across the idea of a “soulmate checklist”. This is the list that innumerates all of the requirements that the person you’re looking for must meet in order to truly be your soulmate.
And while it can really help to have a definite idea of what you are looking for in your special someone, there are a few ways in which a checklist can fall short or even backfire.
For instance, writing things like “great sense of humor” or “loves life” can be items on a checklist, but both of those things can mean entirely different things to different people. One person’s great sense of humor may be annoying or inappropriate to another. Also, what if someone hits nearly all the items on your list, but not one or two? Are you completely wedded to ever single item? Or are some of them negotiable?
Try Visualization Instead
However, if you use visualization instead, you can imagine what it will look and feel like when you and your soulmate are together, in action.
So toss the checklist out and create a vision of your soulmate and the relationship you want to have with them by asking yourself these three questions:
1. How do you want to feel when you are with this person?
2. What kinds of experiences do you want to share with this person?
3. How would you like to grow with this person?
Identify What You DON’T Want
If you’ve gone through a lot of bad relationship experiences in the past, you might find yourself gravitating toward what you don’t want in a soulmate. Which may seem bad, but it is actually great. Why? Because you can use the power of Contrast from your past relationships to get clearer on the positive things that you DO want in your love life. (If you want to know more about Contrast and how to use it to reframe negativity, go take a look at this article.)
Try running back through your past relationships in your head and start making a list. You can call it your Soulmate Contrast List. This list should include all of the things that you are sure you do not want in your future soulmate relationship. It is good to use this list to figure out what you want instead of each of those things. You don’t necessarily want the opposite of each Contrast item. For example, maybe you once dated someone who never grew out of being the class clown and refused to engage with you on any kind of serious level in order to deal with relationship problems. Your knee-jerk reaction might be to say that you want a soulmate who takes things seriously.
And yet, at the same time, you know that you were drawn to this person’s sense of humor for a reason. If you stop to think about it, you might realize that a good sense of humor is really important to you. However, you may realize that you need this balanced with the emotional maturity to deal with difficult conversations when they arise. Rather than Contrast showing you that you don’t want to date someone with a strong sense of humor, it may be showing you that you want someone with a sense of humor who also respects their relationship with you enough to put the humor aside when it’s time to be serious.
Future Day With Your Soulmate
Here’s a journaling exercise to help you tune into your soulmate vision more deeply:
Write about a future day spent with your soulmate. Think about what you want to do together. How does that make you feel? Go ahead and get vivid with all of your senses. Are you going to dinner? What would you eat? What will it taste like? Smell like? Are you on the beach? How does the sea breeze feel against your skin? How does it feel when your soulmate takes your hand as you walk together? How does it feel when they take you into their arms at the end of a date? How does it feel to snuggle in bed together? Let your imagination run wild. Really ramp up your emotions with this.
Vision Board
Another way to put a little more oomph behind this exercise is to make a vision board. A vision board is a visual representation of the thing you want to manifest using words, pictures and abstract symbols that help you to focus on your vision. It can be physical or virtual.
If you want to give a vision board a try, collect images and words that evoke feelings you want to experience with your soulmate. They could be images representing that future day you journaled about or they can be more abstract. Maybe you feel like the man of your dreams will have a wolfish sort of charm. If so, you might want to include the image of a wolf. Or maybe a lion would be a better match. If so, then include the image of a lion. There are no rules for making a vision board, so have fun with it!
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