Breakups Don’t Have to be Painful
Heartbreak is the ultimate fuel for personal growth
I remember being promised full support following my decision to undertake a study abroad program in Spain. I was convinced to believe no amount of distance could make us fall out of love.
It was back in early 2018 when I was offered the chance to travel and immerse myself in the warm-hearted Spanish culture. We just celebrated our first year together.
In this story, there is no consensus on what exactly broke us up. We were both naive to think long-distance wouldn’t cause major stumbling in our relationship. There were, however, valuable lessons learned.
Even if you haven’t lived through a similar experience, there are things you can take from mine. At the end of the day, aren’t we all bound to experience heartbreak?
You don’t have to settle
For the idealists, it saddens me to write this, but breakups are not uncommon when having to choose between love and career.
One of the most valuable qualities we can hope to find in a partner is encouragement. Being encouraged to go after what lights us up and make us feel happy with ourselves can be uniquely meaningful.
Surely some of us have dreamed of feeling complete on our own efforts. That can’t happen if constantly held back. A partner should be able to keep our fire burning, to cheer us on to success.
No one should have to pass up their dreams. It all comes down to sacrifices and how committed a love partner truly is.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
You soon discover to be stronger and more decisive than you ever believed to be.
As if breaking up wasn’t hard enough, try doing it while being millions of miles away from your family and closest friends. Being by myself made me feel all the hurt.
Still, it wasn’t all bad. The circumstances pushed me to toughen up and manage my feelings over Spanish tortilla and paella.
Focusing on my work gave me the chance to reflect on what promised love should really be about. Balance, passion, and commitment. Even though pushing myself forward demanded all my mental strength, it helped me get to know myself better and how strong any of us can be under the toughest circumstances.
In the end, you are the only person that can make yourself feel secure. Don’t lose focus.
You are never truly alone
Social interaction is critical.
No one wants their study abroad experience to be all late-night essays and no play, especially after a falling out.
Unwinding from work and socializing helped me get past the grief. I got to meet people who could empathize with how I was feeling, who pushed me not to feel sorry for myself and tried their best to keep my thoughts away from my ex.
There’s always going to be someone in need to share their pain, why not do the same?
Honor your worth
There will always be a decision to make.
When faced with heartbreak, none of us should take ourselves for granted. We should cherish the things fought for and everything we have poured our hearts into. Knowing what lead me to study abroad was key to acknowledging everything I’m capable of achieving.
We alone are capable of enjoying and experiencing our worthiness. Cheer yourself on!
You reconnect with what’s right for you
As tough as a parting of the ways can be, we learn best through experience.
There is always a part of us that we choose to let go out of fear of failure or losing what we have. Gained opportunities help us to continue challenging ourselves and set priorities following our dreams.
I, for one, never truly believed in myself. But before coming back home, I got offered a job and the opportunity to stay in Europe, and all out of my own hard work.
This is the best time for you to prioritize yourself.
Even if I don’t have a partner to share my achievements with, I owe it to myself to be attuned to who I am and what I want, don’t you?
