Dating Is About Marketing
A story of a bad product market fit.
“If you don’t want to be single, you need to learn how to market yourself. Because dating is all about marketing,” I said, stirring my drink.
“That’s a new way of looking at things.” The man was sitting at the other side of the table. Smiling, he looked down at the drink in his hands. He was almost blushing. He looked back up. “Tell me more about this marketing theory of yours.”
“Well, the key to finding a partner is understanding your market positioning — you know, what you offer, and how you can satisfy your target audience’s needs.” I took a sip. “Everyone wants to drive a Lamborghini, but not everyone can afford one. At the same time, everyone thinks they should try and impress with flash and style. I’ve realized, however, that there’s a market for Honda Civics like me. There’s still someone out there who’s gonna treasure me, keep me running smoothly, and forbid his friends from eating McDonalds takeout anywhere near me.”
“Well I do drive a Honda, so it looks like you’ve got a potential customer,” he said.
“Let’s just say I do my market research and client profiling before heading into a meeting.”
We laughed and ordered more drinks. It was the beginning of a nine-month relationship — one that would end when he boarded a plane to the other side of the country, seeking “what he really wanted” and breaking my heart in the process.
I was sad, but I was okay. After all, the customer never truly knows what he wants. A successful marketer has to show whatever she has in hand, and persuade him; she has to make him realize what he wants. This time, I guess someone, or something, was better at this than I was.
Five months later I was on Tinder again, looking for my next qualified lead. Out of curiosity, I clicked onto his profile, still at the top of my chat history.
Dan, 32
“Dating is like marketing. As for me? I’m a Tesla 3. Powerful, reliable, and economical in the long run. Would you like a test drive?”
I was shocked and amused at the same time. Not only because he stole my line, but because he had made it sound so lame.
“As a former leaseholder, I can say that your marketing material was accurate. You do reach climax very fast — in as little as 3.2 seconds.” I typed the words into the chat window but decided not to send it. I do like the Tesla, but sometimes you just can’t wait for the long delivery time.
