Deaf to the Well-Meaning Frogs
And lessons I learned from The Alchemist
Podcasts make my drive every morning more pleasant and seem shorter. They help keep my focus on the road with the added benefit of soothing my nerves enough that the shenanigans of the other drivers don’t bother me as much.
One morning, a story, well it was more of an allegory, was shared on the podcast I was listening to. It was about two frogs who were going on their merry way and fell into an unseen ditch. The ditch was very deep and they weren’t able to jump out no matter how hard they tried.
A short while later, a few other frogs came along and found them. They couldn’t think of a way to save them, so the new frogs told the fallen frogs to give up their jumping, conserve their energy and wait peacefully for the relief of death.
One of the fallen frogs took their advice and died off. The other kept jumping. The new frogs tried to get it to stop, gesturing wildly and shouting about the futility of what it was doing. But the fallen frog just tried harder and harder until he leapt his highest and landed on solid ground outside the ditch. The new frogs ran to it, amazed and impressed that it made it out.
They asked how it was able to jump out even though they told it to give up. The response was “I’m partially deaf so I didn’t hear anything you were saying but I thought you were cheering me on with all your hand waving and gesticulating.”
All’s well that ends well.
But I have a question.
What kind of fatalistic and scary frogs are those? What, they couldn’t form a frog-chain and pull those two out of the ditch? They couldn’t fashion a long stick or rope to pull them up with? Was there really no other solution but to sit and wait to die? Really?
Are there people like that in your life? They mean well and don’t want you to stress yourself by working for something that appears unattainable. They don’t want you to risk the disappointment of putting your all into something only to not get it.
They want you to stick with what’s safe and secure. They say things like “this is the way we’ve always done it” and “don’t rock the boat”.
They mean well. They really do. They want you to succeed and be able to fend for yourself. To not end up depressed because things didn’t go your way or worse still, you end up needy, broke and out of sorts.
But if you listen to them, you’ll never know what you could have achieved and you can guarantee that you’ll never actually achieve it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
You might be able to live philosophically like the Crystal Merchant in The Alchemist. Content simply to have a dream with no intention of pursuing it. Comforted by what you do have and the distant promise of the more that you could have. If it comes to you on its own, great. If not, that’s great too because you have a life you can be content with.
That’s fine. We don’t yet know if we’ll look back on our lives with regret but I certainly hope I don’t. I want to be able to say that I tried and accomplished everything that I was meant to.
And if there’s anything that didn’t come to fruition, that I don’t feel so bad about it because it wouldn’t have been as impactful as what I did do.
For the first time, I took notes while reading a novel. Usually, I’m just looking up the meaning of words I’m unfamiliar with while reading a book but this time, I actually took notes. Not because the ideas I came across were novel, but because they were expressed within a story that was simple and complex at the same time. I’m still blown away by the odd yet delightful writing style of the author. I felt that he, the author, is incredibly insightful and very gifted at putting those insights into words — the very inner thoughts that we have when contemplating our purpose in life.
Here are a few of the ones that resonated with me in relation to going after one’s treasure/dream/goals.
Having a backup plan — I liked this one because I’m the type of person who takes risks…calculated risks. If you’re someone who can jump into something with both feet, go for it. If you’re like me and need some measure of control even in chaos, then arrange for a somewhat secure landing pad in at least one other place in case the wind blows you in the wrong direction after you’ve jumped. That way, you’ll be able to recover more quickly, regroup and re-strategize. There’s of course something to be said for the “all or nothing” approach where you’ve put everything on the line and you absolutely have to succeed or you’re dead (figuratively). That breeds a certain type of determination that’s hard to duplicate when you know you have a slush fund somewhere or a career to retreat to. But moving into the unknown with a security blanket in your backpack could be a life saver too.
Expecting the unexpected — Way too cliché but true. Even if you’ve planned everything out and try to imagine how events will play out in response to your step-by-step decisions, know that you don’t know what you don’t know. Anything can happen, up to and including things that will entice you to give up. I think the author said it like this “when you make a decision (to go after your dream), you’re diving into strong currents that will carry you to strange places you never imagine when you first made the decision.” Which brings me to the next point.
Committing to the goal — “Once you start going forward, don’t go back. Just worry only about the best way of moving forward.” This is a direct one from the Alchemist. It resonated with me a lot. It’s very simple, like something you’d hear in a huddle at a sports game— take the ball and run. Don’t look back except maybe to review what you’ve done so far and see what you need to change or modify for the future.
Being Patient — you know the saying “I might not be where I want to be but I’m glad I’m not where I used to be”, that’s what this is about. Keeping in perspective that you’re closer to your goal than you were before you started the journey.
Being Persistent — the closer you are to your goal, the more difficult things seem to become. Don’t impulsively give up out of frustration about how long it’s taking or how challenging it is or because someone you trusted stole your money or idea. Those difficulties are all tests and help steel you for the time after you’ve realized your dream and have to sustain what you’ve created.
The biggest thing though is doing away with Fear and it’s cousins, Insecurity and Doubt.
There’s a security sticking with whatever we’re doing that provides a roof over our heads, three square meals on table and clothes to wear. Threatening that safety in any way seems foolhardy and filled with hubris.
Like what more could you ask from life?
But…if you have a persistent dream that just won’t leave you alone, maybe it’s because life after will be better than it is now. Here’s to being able to try.
