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Eating a Hamburger Around the First Anniversary of My Child’s Death
After a bad year, it’s the ordinary signs that show you’re ready to make a new vision board
In exactly fourteen days it’ll be one year since Katie died. I’ve been anxiously dreading and looking forward to this date a year after 02/02/2020, that famous numerical palindrome forever etched on my mind. Still (still!) unclear about what happened the day she died, I can also honestly say that I am also putting life back together —focusing on what’s good and turning my attention from grief toward my sons, career, and friends.
Months of neglect due to grief and COVID have taken their toll on my energy, health, and relationships. At the same time, I’m more aware than ever. It’s a strangely powerful feeling.
I was sitting with a friend eating a hamburger on a local restaurant’s patio last night when he asked me how I was planning to spend that looming anniversary. I couldn’t give him an answer, but I tested my response internally before I threw out some ideas.
The truth is I’d checked the day already. It would be a Tuesday. I was not working that day. I could plan on staying in bed all day, but I’d done that so many times this past year. I could plan a get-away for a day or two or a nice dinner with my…
