‘’Everyone has Problems’’
‘’Everyone has problems.’’
I hear this a lot whenever I express displeasure with something.
Yes. Okay. I’m aware that ‘everyone has problems’ but simply saying thid instead of personalizing whatever anyone goes through is uncaring.
Saying that ‘everyone has problems’ to someone trivializes the person’s feelings.
Each individual person is different. We know this.
Each person comes with their own unique set of problems. We know this, I hope.
I can’t say that one is socially adept when one thinks that by telling another that ‘everyone has problems, so just forget about what happened’ is the only piece of advice that can somehow help someone feel better.
There are a lot of people who recover on their own by repeating to themselves that ‘everyone has problems’ but this differs from my having the nerve to tell someone that ‘everyone has problems. Just get over them’ and nothing more.
Everyone who talks about what’s bothering them deserves their very own solutions and care.
I can even compare this situation to telling someone who’s sprained their ankle, ‘’Everyone’s twisted their ankle. Just get over it.’’
I mean, goodness.
Instead of saying to the sad and injured person, ‘’Everyone’s had this injury. Just don’t think about it’’, I’d advise the person to take it easy and offer a bag of ice. The logical thing to do is to do more than just say, ‘’Everyone twists their ankle sometime in their lives. It’s not a big deal.’’
Sprained ankles don’t heal within a few seconds.
The same goes for people who aren’t in a good mood for a period of time.
Physical injuries and illnesses take time to go away. Any mental damage, in a ton of cases, requires a lot of time to dissipate.
It’s a joke to say to an unhappy person, ‘’Everyone has problems’’, especially when I think everyone says that to themselves around me in Istanbul but remain in pretty bad condition psychologically.
The thing to do is to be kind and fair to those who are suffering mentally. When someone has a problem, people should offer to listen and help in myriad ways. Steps to a possible recovery need to be discussed. Sharing experiences and brainstorming sources for inspiration should be carried out. Luckily, when the people I meet in Istanbul who catch me in a bad mood (which doesn’t last long. It’s just that many things set me off), and they tell me, ‘’Everyone has problems’’, shrugging their shoulders and rolling their eyes at me without offering to talk, I’m able to think things through on my own and dismiss those that don’t mean anything to me and I’m cheered up again with my own thoughts of visiting a coffee shop I haven’t ventured to yet.
Most people, though, need more than a useless and insensitive, ‘’Everyone has problems. Get over it’’ and multiple rolls of the eyes.
I think people need to stop being so self-absorbed and start individually and deeply considering how to help people who don’t feel any good see some light at the end of the tunnel.
Some time and some deep and careful thought and attention to only the person with their problem, without any distractions, would be much more considerate and compassionate actions that merely saying, ‘’Everyone has problems.’’
