Feeling Lonely Over The Holidays
A few helpful tips for finding connection and joy.
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!” the Andy Williams song gleefully tells us before going on to describe all the highlights of the holidays for people with children around to jingle bells and loved ones close by for holiday meetings and happy greetings. But for people without dear ones near, the holidays can be harder than any other time of the year.
SAD
This is also the time of year when people who are prone to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) suffer most. Long dark nights and short cold days contribute to feelings of isolation and depression. We get outside less, move our bodies less, and connect with other human beings outside our homes on a daily basis less than most of us do in the warmer months. Women are diagonsed with SAD at a rate of 4 to 1 relative to men. Those with a history of depression or bipolar disorder are particularly suseptible to SAD. If you suspect that you might be suffering from SAD, talk with your doctor and seek help. Some common treatments for SAD are light therapy and vitamin D supplements, though it may also require psychotherapy and medication.
If you need help, give help.
The benefits are manifold. When you reach out and help someone whose challenges are even greater than yours, you get to be a light in someone else’s dark place. It’s impossible to ever truly know the impact of kindness on another human being. Being in the right place at the right time can change or even save a life. However, even if the effect of your kindness isn’t that dramatic, no act of kindness is ever wasted.
Make connections.
The simple act of reaching out generously, at least with your time, but also possibly with your effort, skills, and/or money too, gives you the gift of connection with another human being. Why do we all love watching Ellen doing her holiday giveaway show? The sheer ecstatic joy on the faces of both the givers and receivers is infectious. Most of us get a contact high from seeing other people experience joy. Which brings me to my next suggestion.
Watch or read things that make you feel happy.
The world is full of tragedy, yes. But it is also filled with joy. The constant news cycle of bad news can get anyone down. Why not take a media break for the holidays and instead, seek out things to watch and read that you know will bring you joy. Share uplifting stories on social media and scroll right by anything that looks negative. Or turn social media off for awhile all together. Pick up a favorite book you haven’t read in years, or put on the Charlie Brown Christmas special. Did you love that Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer stop-action film as a kid? Go watch Hermie and Rudolph whoop it up with their odd-ball friends on the Island of Misfit Toys. Or cry tears of happy joy as George Bailey comes to recognize just how much his one little wonderful life has had a positive effect on the lives of so many others.
Spread joy.
Take time to stop and talk to people. Thank the person who holds that door open for you. Ask the barista at the coffee shop how she’s doing. Listen to the cab driver tell you a bit about his life. Smile at the random stranger you make eye-contact with while you’re crossing the street in opposite directions. Stop by the animal shelter to pet some cats or hold some puppies. Go into the rest home in your area and ask if there are any residents who don’t get many visitors. Bring a few cards and give them away. Sit and listen to someone tell you their story. Stop and listen to the carolers singing in the square and clap when they finish a particularly good song.
Try to show appreciation for each and every person you can. Chancers are someone else is feeling low and lonely too. A few moments of your time just might be the thing that shifts them from a negative to a positive mindset. And in doing so, you’ll reap the rewards of feeling better too.
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